#(for me. and for no one else. everyone else is just living normally)

[redladypaige]

So I've been hearing that there shouldn't be a country for the jews, that it should be like "other countries" and "be for everyone".

Ok, so your country that has separation of church and state, which days are the work week?

Mon-Fri? Huh? Why is that? Maybe to make it so people won't work on Sundays, and then, go to church?

In Israel, the work week is Sun-Thu. I don't know if Americans even know that.

Friday night to Saturday night is the Sabbath, so having these days off make it easier to observe.

Muslim countries, usually, have the workweek be Sat-Wed for similar reasons.

People are so stuck on their American Defaultism that they forget that so many things are structured on purpose to benefit different people.

So when people say that Israel should be abolished and there should be a "neutral secular state", what they mean is that it should be more like what they consider the "normal" and "default".

They act like there is a "one size fits all" culture, that anything else is some perversion for the ideal of what a country should be.

That's just one of many many things, cultural and religious, that makes Israel the only place in the world where jews can live without being an afterthought.

I have a lot of problems with Israel.

So many, many problems, especially with the government, and with what's to come with Trump's victory.

I genuinely hope for a change, for the end of suffering, for lasting peace and justice.

But I'm so done with people that have their country built to suit them telling me mine shouldn't exist.

[gh0stsp1d3r]

Maybanks sister

part 4, chapter 1- let’s do this shit!

summary: after el dorado, your lives are finally getting back to normal. However, someone’s still missing from your life. After a long week, a run in with that someone is the last thing you needed.

a/n: ahhh! Finally some rafe and reader moments lol. they’re a bit in a pining but not talking stage right now. They’re gonna get to talk soon, don’t worry.

SERIES MASTERLIST | PREVIOUS CHAPTER

“-98.5%… gold.”

“And that translates to?”

“This is money. A whole lot of money.”

With a smile on his face and everyone else cheering, John B leaned over the table to shake the man’s hand.

You guys went straight to the gas station, with the nearest atm machine being inside.

“Moment of truth.” John B murmured, all of you crowding around the atm.

“Pin is 0-0-0-0… enter.” John B said, entering his pin into the machine.

“You’re kidding.” Sarah had to suppress a laugh.

“Tell me that’s a temporary pin.” You snorted, John B turning to look at you now.

“I thought nobody could guess-“

“You need to change that immediately, dude.” You told him with a loud laugh.

“I’m sorry-“ he turned his head back to the machine when it started to make noise, signaling it was ready.

“Here it comes.”

As soon as the paper came out, JJ reached for it before him and John B fought over it. “That’s me, that’s me,” he said, “let me read it!”

“It’s not even the money, it’s just the receipt!”

You rolled your eyes at the boys, John B winning in the end, opening and pulling it open.

“Okay, okay,” John B said, reading it. “Our joint account balance…”

“Mhm..”

He took a pause, before Cleo told him to get on with it, everyone impatient.

“Our joint account balance is… one point one million… seventy two thousand, five hundred and forty nine dollars.”

“You said mil?”

“Million?” You and pope asked at the same time.

“Um…” John B said, everyone processing just how much money that was.

“That’ll do it!”

He nodded in agreement, everyone cheering and celebrating, being unable to even comprehend just how much that was.

“Holy shit…” you spoke, you laughing to yourself, Sarah laughing with you.

“That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever seen on a piece of paper.” Pope said, you smiling and talking to Cleo.

JJ went over to the cooler, taking a beer out and downing it. Kiara glanced over at him, noticing his distance from everyone.

She walked over to him, “You can smile, you know.” She told him, leaning against the cooler.

He sighed, staring at her.

“Look, this doesn’t mean we’re kooks. Just means we have a little money now.”

“Okay, okay, wait, wait, wait, wait… hear me out. Really truck with yellow LEDS to replace the Twinkie for now.”

“That is by far one of the dumbest ideas I’ve heard from you.” You told your brother, rolling your eyes at him.

“I’m not getting rid of the Twinkie.” John B shook his head.

“But with solar panels… maybe. If it’s in the budget.” Kiara suggested, tilting her head to the side.

“And a bigger boat.”

“Guys, hold on. Hold on. It’s… it’s not like we can all go off and buy houses or anything. I mean split between all of us, that’s about 167,507 dollars. Minus what we owe barracuda Mike.”

“Let him try and come take this. I’ll mess him up.”

“I’ll mess him up for my damn leg.” You agreed.

“I’m just gonna say it. I don’t wanna piss off the drug dealer.”

“Listen, if we divide this up, we’re all gonna blow it.” Pope said, everyone turning their heads to Jj the moment he said that.

“Wow, okay. Why are you all looking at me like that?”

“It’s kind of obvious.” You retorted.

“-But maybe if we pool our money together, we can create something with actual economies of scale.”

“Like what?” Kiara asked him.

“You remember the island.”

“Duh.”

“Of course.” Kiara shrugged.

“I mean, it was our own island, and we built everything from basically nothing, right?”

“It was perfect.” Kiara said.

“The best life.” Cleo nodded.

“That whole island just to ourselves. All of us together.”

“It was nice..” you nodded in agreement with them all.

“I think we can have that again. Right here. I mean, Y/n’s and JJ’s property is going up for auction, right? So let’s buy it back. I mean, look around. A lot of land. Deep water access…” he motioned to the water behind him. “unless any of you are planning on going back to school, we’re gonna need a place to work, a place to stay and live. I think we can have both of those things here.”

“Well, it’s a nice idea, but I mean, we’d have to get the land first.” You told pope, he nodded.

“Then we could build like, a.. surf shop. And then maybe we can make our own dock.”

“This place does need a dock.” You nodded, smiling at the image.

“Ooh, what about like a bait and tackle shop?” John B suggested.

“Yeah,”

“Exactly. And… and who knows these waters better than us?”

“Nobody.” You replied.

“JJ, y/n, you guys can get a new boat and run a fishing charter. We can all live and sleep in the house-“

“Just a small warning, if this works, I am not picking up after you little shits.” You told them all, specifically staring right at Jj.

“Hey! Why are you looking at me? I’m not the one who-“

You rolled your eyes, wrapping your arms around him and ruffling his hair like you would do when you were kids.

“Because we all know how messy you are.”

“I’m not messy-“

“You most definitely are, yeah.” Sarah retorted, him huffing and shoving you off of him while the rest of you laughed.

Before the auction, you went up to Jj, pulling him to the side.

“What?” He asked you, glancing at his friends in front of you all.

“Hey, I know how you’re feeling about the house and shit, but please, don’t do some stupid shit?”

“Don’t worry, sis. We’ll get the house back easy.”

“That’s not what I’m worried about, jay.”

“I’m not gonna… do some stupid shit, alright? Trust me. I got this.” He held his hand up.

You sighed, he did not have this.

“Here’s the plan. We go up in one-dollar increments, all right? It’s gonna take a while, but we’re gonna need to save every cent we have for construction.”

“Popes on point, JJ. Got it?”

JJ let a hum, although he hesitated.

“Don’t change the plan.” Pope stared at the pair of you and your brother, you looking offended.

“Hey, don’t look at me, look at this idiot.” You poked your finger into JJs head, him rolling his eyes at you.

Everyone turned to the auctioneer, him pointing to the picture of your dad’s property.

Honestly, you wouldn’t know what you would do with yourself if you didn’t get the house. You grew up in that house, and while you may have a lot of bad memories in those walls, you loved it the same. It was like you could still hear the laughter of you and JJ as kids echoing off the walls.

It was a part of you at this point.

And you knew Jj felt the same way, you could tell it in his eyes.

“-The foreclosure sale of 14 Roger’s point road. Now, this is the old Maybank place.”

“You know, uh, the cuts gonna be figure 8 in a few years. You walk away now, you won’t have to scurry off with your tail between your legs… and I’ll, uh, give you a little taste on the back end.” he spoke to you lowly, you staring at the man in disbelief.

“You’re gonna be dead before that happens.” You told the man, annoyed at what he had just said.

He stared at you with raised eyebrows through his glasses.

“Hey, Dale, was it?” JJ pushed you to the side, standing in front of the man now.

“That’s correct.”

“It’s not happening, hoss.” He cracked his knuckles. “Let’s play ball.”

You stared at Pope, already knowing what would go down.

“150 bid, bidder with 200, I’ve got 200…”

…

“I’ve got 775,000 bid,”

“This is way over our price range.” Pope told John B.

“Will you make him stop, please?” Sarah asked him:

“Get him out of here.”

John B went over to JJ, who you’ve already attempted to stop multiple times.

“Hey, please, it’s too much.”

“Just let me handle this. I’ve got it.. dude, I’ve got it!” He fought John b off of him, “775,010, right here, sir.” Jj shouted.

“775,010 to the gentleman in red.”

“Oh my god!” Pope groaned.

You sighed, half in relief and half in annoyance. Your brother was dumb to be paying that much, but you knew, deep down, you knew why he did. No one else would understand, but you would.

“That’s too rich for my blood, Rog.” Zeasy spoke, John B and Jj staring at each other.

“775,010 bidder, looking for 8…”

The auctioneer continued on, “going once, going twice, sold right here to the gentleman in red. Congratulations.”

Everyone in the group groaned, Jj turning back to Zeasy, holding his hand out.

“The most expensive property in the cut, and it’s not worth it.” He chuckled.

“Well, it is to us, sir. Now, if you can scurry off to your side of the island, and stay there, that’d be appreciated.” He waved his hand, wrapping his arms around John B.

“I get shit done. We got it. That’s all that matters. Whoo! All right.”

“What an idiot.” You murmured to yourself.

“33% above market value. Wildly overpaid. Thats like all the money.” Pope told John b, before walking past him.

You stared at JJ, him looking back at you.

“What?” He asked, you shaking your head at him.

“Well, would you like to do the honors or should I?” You asked your brother, both of you standing in front of the caution taped door.

He shrugged, his hands going to the ends and beginning to rip it off.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I christen thee Poguelandia 2.0.” He spoke, holding the ripped up caution tape in both hands before throwing it.

You stared at him, ripping off the remaining tape.

“Let’s turn this piece of shit into our home.” You told him with a small smile.

“Let’s do it.”

He smiled back, both of you doing your usual handshake, before he opened the door and saluted to the rest of the group.

“We’re home, y’all.”

Construction on the house was the hard part of it all, everything you guys had bought and used had been as cheap as possible, even using old wood from your dad’s old shed.

And finally, after months of construction, you all felt like you had finally perfected it. JJ had his own charter, everything had been feeling normal. Better than normal.

JJ put the sign down at the dock, a proud smile on his face as he stared at everything you all had accomplished.

“Think we’re about done.” You told John B, both of you nodding and smiling, doing a handshake of your own.

“Hey, guys!” JJ called from down the dock, his hat in his hands. “I think we did it.”

“Hell yeah we did!” You shouted back.

“We’re in business baby! Wow!” He shouted, you and John B laughing at his antics. “Oh my gosh, this feels good!” He pumped his fist in the air, and this was the happiest you think you’ve ever seen him.

Everyone watched with a smile on their faces, watching him cheer on and celebrate.

“That boys mad.” Cleo laughed, you nodding in agreement.

He got on the boat, “Captain Maybank at your service! Now that has a ring to it! Nothing can stop a pogue. Nothing!”

All of you laughed, watching him jump off and onto the dock.

“That’s what I’m talking ‘bout!”

“Yeah!” John B shouted.

“Is he okay?” Sarah laughed, Kiara watching him with a smile on her face.

“Yeah. Yeah. He just never really had a home. He’s happy.”

You listened to the girls conversation, finding yourself smiling at it.

He began to dance, talking wildly to himself.

“Slow down, you’re killing ‘em!”

“Twinkle toes, all right!”

Kiara laughed, walking down to the dock, “having fun?” She asked him.

“A little bit.”

“Yeah?”

“What?” He asked, her staring at him with a wide smile on her face.

“I love you.”

He got closer to her, both of their lips crashing into each others.

You whistled at them, John B howling while Sarah laughed.

“We did it.” JJ pressed his forehead against hers, her arms wrapped around his body.

“We did. Somehow.”

“But we did it. We did it!”

That day was one that you swore you’d never forget, seeing him happy like that, that was all you wanted in your life.

Yet, intertwined with the moments of joy, there was a bittersweet ache in your heart. Thoughts of him, of Rafe, drifted through your mind.

It’s been almost two years, and you were still in love with him.

You couldn't shake the memories, the way his laughter would echo in your ears, the warmth of his presence that seemed to haunt your every thought.

A sense of longing wrapped around you, refusing to let go, painting your happiness with unfulfilled desire.

It was as if you could still imagine him looking at you, a small but soft smile on his face.

You knew he wouldn’t want to talk to you, he probably wouldn’t want to even see you.

He probably hated you now, you thought. After you told him about his dad, maybe he didn’t want to see you at all.

Unfortunately, a large thunderstorm the night before had knocked out the power, causing the live bait to pass away, everything ruined.

“What’s the damage, pope?” JJ asked him, pope sighing.

“Fuse box is busted. Without the live bait, the fishermen won’t come, and there goes half of our business right there. We have enough profit to cover it, but barely, just barely. All right?”

Pope walked over to a jar, pulling it down from the cabinet it was in. “This is it.” He pulled out a smaller jar of gold. “The last of our AU.”

“Uh, what?”

“What?”

“English, please.” You snickered.

“Gold. It’s the periodic symbol for gold.” He told you all, as if it was obvious.

“Why not just say gold?” You asked him

“Because it doesn’t matter, all right? This is all of our savings, and it’s a no-go. This is for property taxes. So,” he set the jar of gold on the table, “we’re gonna have to tighten up…”

“Which means no more 600 dollars in gas chasing tarpon up the gulf.”

“Pope, that’s our job-“ JJ started.

“Yeah!” you agreed.

“We were chasing a bait board-“

“No more 200 dollars in heirloom tomato seeds.” Pope continued, pointing at Kiara.

Everyone began to talk over each other, arguing over it.

“What about my imported peppers?”

“Peppers gotta go too, baby.”

“We need to run the charters!

“It’s not the tomato’s fault!”

“No, hey, guys! If the business starts failing, the sharks start circling. All right?” Everyone stopped arguing.

“And we don’t even know if your dad is coming back.”

“He’s got balls if he shows his damn face around here.” You glared at Pope.

“And it’s not even his anymore.” JJ chimed in, hitting his hand against the table he was leaning on.

“It doesn’t matter. What’s he gonna think when he sees all this?”

“He’s not gonna see it.” You spat, Pope sighed, ignoring your comment before continuing.

“Listen, if we want to save this place, we skinny up until the business gets afloat again. Okay?” Pope said, leaving the shack.

JJ glanced at the gold that Pope had left on the table, an idea popping up in his mind.

The enduro. A dumbass bike race where people place their bets on, mostly kook kids who have nothing better to do with it. It was also where your brother went to try his luck each year.

“What a fantastic day we got for racing today. You guys ready to burn some gas?”

People cheered, raising their cups and watching as everyone started practicing, their bikes throwing sand on the viewers.

“The race is kicking off soon, so make sure you get your bets in. And then wave your flag, you know what I’m saying?”

JJ stood there, gas being pumped into his bike. He glanced over to the bike next to him, where Topper sat with a smug face, nodding at JJ. Jj shook his head, turning away from the boy.

John B walked over to JJ, patting him on the shoulder. “Let’s go baby! How we feeling today, champ?”

“Like I got this whole shot.”

“Yeah? Yeah?”

“I’m gonna win it this year. I know I am.”

“Yeah, you are.”

JJ turned to look at Cleo, “Cleo, how we doing, girl?”

“Everything’s all good, man.”

“Great.”

“The girl, out.”

“All right.” He raised his hand up, both of their hands meeting as they did a handshake.

“Hey! Bring it home, little boy.” She smiled at him.

“You know I will.”

John B smiled at him, grabbing his face. “You got this. All right?”

“I know.”

“Yeah, good luck.” John B said, beginning to walk away before JJ called his name.

“Hey, hold on one sec. Hold on.”

John B turned around, Jj walking up to him again.

“Where’d you park your bike?”

“Right there. Why?” He pointed, jj staring at him, hesitating.

“Gotta tell you something before we start.”

“Oh boy, JJ, what’s going on?”

“No, it’s really not that bad.” JJ replied, although John B did not believe him.

“Go on, then. Tell me, what’s up?”

“Like, literally you’re gonna be thanking me after. Okay? So… you know, I… I bet on me. To win.”

John B turned his head, pursing his lips together.

“I know, I know, funds are tight right now, but I feel good this year. So, I put in a bet on myself. Dude, the odds are like, seven to one!” He smiled, “with me on this thing, that’s like three to one.”

“Hold on, okay.”

“It’s free money.”

“Where did you get some extra money?”

“That’s what I’ve got to tell you. Um…” jj cleared his throat, “so, I went into the kitty and bet the last nug…. Now, before you say anything, I just gotta tell you-“

John B scoffed, backing away from JJ.

“Dude, listen, I got this, man.”

John B held his finger out, “JJ, JJ, just stop.” He walked over to JJ again, looking at him in disbelief. “Jj, are you serious?”

“Yes I’m serious.”

“That was our last 20 grand. That was supposed to go to property taxes for poguelandia.”

“Bro, I know! Okay? I know. I know you’re about to hit me now. I can sense it.”

“I’m thinking about it.”

“Save it. Gotta commit at this point. I got it. You know I do. But it wouldn’t hurt to have a little backup on this one. You know what I’m saying?”

“You want me to ride?”

“Just cover me. All right? Just like old times in the backyard. You and me? We school these fools, and we save the farm. You know we can do this. Easy.”

Your heart dropped when your eyes spotted the familiar bike, along with those damn blue eyes. His eyes met yours for a moment, and it felt as if time stopped, as if everyone else was gone in that moment.

“Oh my fucking god.” You mumbled to yourself, Pope raising an eyebrow at you, following your gaze.

Rafe stood there, a faint frown creasing his brow when he caught sight of you. A tight knot formed in his throat. He longed to close the distance between you two, to feel the warmth of your embrace or press his lips against yours again—anything to bridge th silence that had stretched between them.

It had been a year and a half since everything, yet his heart remained tethered to you. The weight of his lingering affection tormented him, and hehted how helpless he was.

He could see the tears begin to well up in your eyes, even from afar.

Topper was the one to snap him out of his daze, and Pope was the one to snap him out of yours.

Topper hit his shoulder, Rafe finally taking a breath when his eyes left yours.

“Dude, I told you, forget about her.”

“What? I wasn’t looking at her, dude.” Rafe lied, looking over at you, only to find you looking away again.

“Was he not here last year?” Pope asked you, you finally taking your eyes off of him.

“Yeah, he- he was, but I mean-it doesn’t matter, I gotta go. I can’t be here for this shit.” You held your hands up, your heart beat picking up and your palms beginning to get clammy.

“Just ignore him.“ Pope shrugged, you sighing, holding the back of your hands to your eyes, pressing on them.

You then realized, that he used to do the same thing. You put your hands down, glancing at Pope before speaking and turning around

“I’ll- I’ll be back.” You murmured, stumbling away from the crowd, leaning against a shed, taking deep breaths while trying to think about anything else.

“Shit, I need a drink.” You told yourself, taking one last deep breath before standing up and walking over to the nearest cooler, stealing a drink and downing the entire can in one go, before grabbing another.

You sighed when you walked up to Pope and Cleo, your eyes avoiding Rafe and instead looking at your brother and John B.

“Let’s do this shit, Jay!”

Taglist

@cassie0sstuff @rafesgiirl @fals3-g0d @tiaamberxx @callsignwidow @saintnourah @calmoistorm @ethanthequeefqueen @theoraekenslover @just-levyy @hallecarey1

[rafecamerons-national-anthem]

𝒲𝒪𝑅𝒯𝐻 𝐻𝒪𝐿𝒟𝐼𝒩𝒢 𝒪𝒩𝒯𝒪-𝑅𝒜𝐹𝐸 𝒞𝒜𝑀𝐸𝑅𝒪𝒩

𝕤𝕦𝕞𝕞𝕒𝕣𝕪 Rafe and Y/N share a peaceful moment on a cliff, where Rafe opens up about feeling lost. Y/N reassures him that it's okay to not have all the answers and that he's not alone.

✮♥✮♥✮♥✮♥✮♥✮♥✮♥✮♥✮♥✮♥✮♥✮♥✮✮♥✮♥✮♥✮♥✮♥✮♥✮♥✮♥✮♥✮

It was well past midnight, and the world felt unnaturally quiet, save for the crashing waves echoing along the shore. Rafe and Y/N were perched atop a small cliff overlooking the ocean, with the stars spread above them like scattered diamonds. It was a rare, peaceful moment that felt more like an illusion in their wild, unpredictable lives.

Rafe let out a sigh and glanced over at Y/N, who sat beside him, knees pulled up to her chest. She was staring out at the horizon, her face illuminated by moonlight. He hadn’t seen her look this calm in a long time.

"So…why'd you drag me out here?" Y/N broke the silence, finally looking over at him with a raised brow and a tiny smile tugging at her lips.

Rafe shrugged, trying to look casual. “Thought maybe we could use a break. Just us, away from everything, you know?"

Y/N gave him a half-smile. "Everything like, you know, the treasure hunt, your family, the chaos?"

“Pretty much,” Rafe replied, chuckling softly. He stretched his legs out in front of him, leaning back on his hands as he gazed at her. “I figured you might need a break, too.”

She let out a soft laugh, resting her chin on her knees. “Yeah, I probably do. I didn’t even realize I was running on fumes until we got out here.” She looked at him, eyes curious. “But I think you needed this more than me.”

His eyes dropped to the sand, and he was quiet for a long time. Y/N watched him carefully, noting the way his brows furrowed, the tension in his jaw.

“You know,” he began quietly, almost as if speaking to himself, “I don’t really know what normal feels like anymore. Like, at all.”

She reached over, placing a gentle hand on his arm. “Hey, don’t do that.”

He looked up, eyes meeting hers, a flicker of surprise in his expression. “Do what?”

“Beat yourself up,” she said firmly, her voice soft but steady. “You’ve been through a lot, Rafe. We both have. Sometimes it’s okay to just… feel lost. You don’t have to know the answers.”

Rafe looked at her hand on his arm, the warmth of her touch a reminder that maybe he wasn’t as alone as he always felt. “Sometimes I just… I think I’m too far gone,” he admitted, his voice barely a whisper. “Like no matter what I do, I’m never gonna get it right.”

Y/N shifted closer, searching his face. “You’re not too far gone, Rafe. Not even close.” She paused, letting her words sink in. “You’re here with me, aren’t you?”

A small smile tugged at his lips, though it was weighed down by disbelief. “Why do you even care?”

Y/N smiled, reaching up to tuck a stray piece of hair behind his ear. “Because you’re worth it. You just don’t see it yet.”

Rafe’s eyes softened, something in them shifting as he looked at her. “I don’t get you,” he murmured, almost to himself. “You’re so good. I don’t know what you’re doing hanging out with someone like me.”

She shrugged, a teasing glint in her eyes. “Maybe I like a challenge.”

He chuckled, his usual cocky smirk making a rare appearance. “Oh, so I’m a challenge now?”

“Absolutely.” She nudged him playfully. “And maybe I’m not as ‘good’ as you think. I have my moments.”

Rafe raised an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? Like what?”

Y/N bit her lip, thinking back to the times she’d taken risks for him, standing by him when everyone else wrote him off. “Like how I didn’t give up on you, even when it probably would’ve been easier to walk away. And how I trusted you when no one else did. That counts as a little reckless, right?”

Rafe stared at her, his expression softening even more. He reached out, his hand brushing her cheek. “Y/N… you make me feel like I could actually be better. Like maybe I deserve more.”

“Maybe you do,” she whispered, looking at him earnestly. “Maybe we both do.”

They held each other’s gaze, and for the first time, Rafe felt like maybe, just maybe, he was capable of being someone else someone he could respect. He shifted closer, his fingers gently tracing along her cheekbone.

“Y/N,” he said softly, his voice barely audible over the waves. “What if I mess this up?”

She gave him a reassuring smile, her hand finding his. “Then we’ll fix it. Together.”

Rafe took a deep breath, squeezing her hand. He looked down at their intertwined fingers, feeling a warmth spread through him he hadn’t felt in a long time. “I don’t deserve you.”

She squeezed his hand back, her smile unwavering. “Maybe it’s not about deserving. Maybe it’s just about being here. Right now.”

Rafe’s lips curved into a soft smile, and he let himself relax, letting go of some of the weight he’d been carrying. “Okay,” he whispered, a hint of hope in his voice. “I’m here.”

They stayed like that, just watching the waves, their hands intertwined. And for the first time in a long time, Rafe felt a peace he didn’t know he could feel.

Rafe and Y/N stayed on the cliff for a while longer, enveloped by the silence and each other’s presence. It was like the world had stopped for them, like everything else, the treasure, the danger, his family, had faded into the background. It felt surreal.

Eventually, Y/N leaned back, letting her shoulders sink into the sand. She glanced up at him and patted the spot beside her. "Come on, lie down. The stars look amazing from here."

Rafe raised an eyebrow, but the way she looked so content, so untroubled by anything, made him want to join her. He lay down beside her, resting his head on his arms and gazing up at the sky. The stars glittered above them, bright and sharp against the dark canvas.

After a while, Y/N turned her head to look at him, studying his face in the dim light. “You ever think about getting out of here? Like… completely?”

Rafe took a deep breath. “Yeah. I think about it all the time, actually,” he admitted. “But I’m not sure what’s even left for me out there, you know? Like, what would I even do?”

“Anything you want,” she replied, her tone hopeful. “You’re smart, Rafe. And you’re good at things you don’t give yourself credit for. If you wanted to, you could build something new.”

He gave her a small, skeptical smile. “You make it sound so simple.”

“Maybe it is.” She shrugged, nudging his shoulder gently. “Maybe we just make things more complicated than they need to be.”

He looked over at her, taking in her expression, her genuine belief in him. It felt foreign, like something he didn’t know how to hold onto. But he wanted to try.

“You’d leave all this behind? The treasure, everything?” he asked.

Y/N gave a soft laugh. “I think I’ve had my fill of treasure hunts and near-death experiences. Maybe it’s time I go find some normalcy. And I don’t know…” She hesitated, her voice quieting. “It would be nice not to do it alone.”

Rafe felt his chest tighten at her words. He reached out, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, his fingers lingering there. “You don’t have to. I mean, if you really wanted, I could come with you.”

She looked at him, her eyes widening slightly in surprise. “You’d do that?”

He nodded, his expression serious. “I know I’m a mess, Y/N. But being around you makes me want to be better. I don’t know what that looks like yet but I think I want to try.” He paused, looking down at his hands, uncharacteristically vulnerable. “If you’d have me.”

Her eyes softened, and she took his hand in hers. “I think we both have things we need to figure out. But maybe we can do that together. Just take it one step at a time.”

Rafe smiled, a genuine, unguarded smile, and nodded. “One step at a time.”

They lay there in silence for a while, both lost in thought, imagining a future that didn’t seem so impossible anymore. After a while, Rafe turned to her again, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“So, what’s the first step?”

She laughed, rolling her eyes. “I don’t know, maybe get out of here before we get ourselves into more trouble?”

“Good call,” he said, chuckling. Then he sat up, offering her his hand. “Ready to go, partner?”

Y/N grinned, taking his hand and letting him pull her to her feet. “Only if you promise not to let go.”

He held her hand a little tighter, meeting her gaze with an intensity that was both reassuring and a little vulnerable. “I won’t,” he said softly. “I promise.”

And with that, they headed back down the cliff, hand in hand, feeling like maybe, just maybe, they’d found something worth holding onto.

[babybluebae-933]

I haven’t heard a word you’ve said, and… I’ll get you to Vulcan somehow.

One day I will write an entire essay about this moment but for now this is all I have in me.

This is the kindest thing Kirk could have said to Spock in this moment, and it shows how well Kirk knows him. He doesn’t try to convince him that he shouldn’t be embarrassed about it (well he does at first, Vulcans are not the birds and the bees captain) he doesn’t try to convince him to be logical about it. Being embarrassed is SO illogical and Spock fucking knows that and reminding him of that fact would only make it worse.

He literally begs to be locked away, he begs Kirk to basically take him out back and put him out of his misery old yeller style. SPARE him the indignity of explaining himself to anyone or being subjected to the will of his own deep dark desires and motives. Kirk orders him to explain and Spock says no that some things transcend even the discipline of the service (then Kirks like ok what if I pinky promise I won’t tell and Spocks like ok fine, which is also so cute but a whole other thing) either way it’s obvious he would literally rather die than tell anyone what’s going on, and he’s actively trying to run away from it.

I thought I would be spared the indignity… but the ancient drives are too strong, eventually it catches up.

This is why Kirk is so special, and this is why he understands Spock better than anyone else. Humans have pride, humans have ego. Spock decided to live the Vulcan way and swear off all that stuff but it’s still inside him. We can assume one of two things, either he truly never has any emotions, or he has them but won’t show them. And God damn if being that fucking stubborn isn’t the most human thing about him. I can’t remember which episode it is but some other time when a red shirt is laying into him for being so cold and insensitive Bones gets defensive, and Spock says it’s okay doctor-

Sometimes they forget I’m half human too.

You can be half human, but you can’t be half Vulcan, you can’t be “half” emotionless. He would be ashamed to let the mask slip, and he’s ashamed that he would feel shame for this. For showing his human nature, because that is the MOST un-Vulcan thing to do. What do they expect from him? To show his feelings would be humiliating, hiding them gets him ridiculed, they bully him for it, yet no one ever treats him as if he could have any feelings about the matter at hand, whatever it may be.

When Spock is insisting that he never feels such trivial emotions as anger or annoyance or fear he is convincing himself as much as anyone else, that is his comfort. It’s true as long as he and everyone else believes it. It’s his comfort and everyone else’s in some cases; if all else fails we can at least count on Spock being cold and logical.

It’s no use to convince him that he shouldn’t be embarrassed because it’s natural or because it happens to everyone or whatever the reason is; because

Spock knows that already. Biology and nature are factual and neutral

Spock knows that being embarrassed is totally illogical

He also knows that being embarrassed especially about something that IS so natural and normal is super-duper un-Vulcan like

The human side of him is what makes him defend his emotionality (non-emotionality?) with such fervor. Motherfucker is so stubborn and so prideful, so Vulcan, but distinctly human.

To assure Spock “aw it’s okay buddy don’t be embarrassed it happens to everyone!” would be a triple knife; acting like he doesn’t know that the facts of life are neutral, unavoidable, and imminent. Acknowledging that he is embarrassed which is so non-Vulcan. AND telling him how being embarrassed especially about this particular instance is extra illogical.

Kirk gets all that, he knows Spock gets all that, and he sees him for who he really is, not the human side or the Vulcan side, just Spock. So, he gives him a very specific brand of mercy, “None of this ever happened, I saw nothing. But now I at least know enough to help you.”

(If we want to take this further I could also remind you of the Edith Keeler conversation when Kirk basically tells her that “let me help” means more than “I love you”.)

I just love this moment so much and I love them.

[beef-brisket]

Lucifer: ...I can't talk to Adam about this-

Michael: No. Is this your final answer?

Lucifer: I... what will happen to the child once it's born-

Michael: That's of it survives. Even now, he's high risk. But... in terms of what will happen to the child. It will remain here, in confinement. As of right now, there are no solid plans. But of course, there will be testing and experiments. And, I assume Adam would not be happy with that. So, there could be a risk of sending him home. He could come back and easily wreck havoc upon the facility to try and take the child back.

Lucifer: ...I... what will happen-

Michael: The child will be instantly terminated, and Adam will be taken down. Permanently.

Lucifer: There's no possibility to just... have a normal life-?

Michael: This is what happened when you breed with a bioweapon, Lucifer. They are dangerous and unpredictable. The last thing we want is to add to their population. Especially when we're trying our best to put an end to them. It's only a courtesy to you that I'm keeping Adam alive.

Lucifer: ...excuse me?

Michael: He is a danger. Everyone else from that village is dead. Including Lilith. The only one that lives on is Adam. And I'm a completionist, Lucifer. It erks me that Adam is still living. But I know he means a lot to you. So. I really. Really. Need you to think about this. This will most likely end I'm permanent confinement for Adam and your child. So. I'll ask you again. Do you want to keep the pregnancy or end it?

Lucifer: ...you're a monster...

Michael: At least I'm not fucking them.

Have you seen Resident Evil: Village? All I'm saying is Adam and Emily as two of the three sisters and Sera as Lady Dimitrescu.

Lucifer is Ethan trying to find Charlie.

At first, Adam was on his mother and sisters side- but because they have a weird thing against dudes, he eventually helps Lucifer.

Trust me, it feels illegal not to make Adam the stunning Lady Dimitrescu, but for story reasons, he'll be one of her kids.

I mean, their hot. What can I say? Adam would look great like this 🤷

Adam: Mmm- man flesh~.

Lucifer: ...Kinda gay, man.

Adam: It's not gay.

Lucifer: It is- man flesh? Really?

Adam: ...

Lucifer: ...

Adam: *stabs sickle into his leg and drags him away* Mother!

I have seen it! Ha I love this. ((Yes he'd rock being the Lady of the house 😩))

Lucifer: Ow!! What the fuck!?

Adam: It's not gay! Mother was right.

[radfemsiren]

My deepest, darkest shame as a feminist, is that I sometimes daydream of a "normal" life (normal as in what the heteronormative society consider that to be)

Im nearing 30 and have never had a partner and I feel so incredibly lonely. I think I would be better if I had a strong female circle, but most of my friends are in relationships; they are moving in with their partners, getting married, having children and I realized that I will never ever again be a priority in their lives.

I know I wont ever be a mother, and that I probably will never be a wife, but I cant help of wish that I was able to just have live that normal life that everyone else around me is living.

Its hard to prioritize the women in your life and a life without men, when those women wont do the same.

I understand how you feel and the biggest way to escape isolation is to not be around men, or women who belong to men. And when I say that, it’s not about women who are in relationships, it’s in their mindset. Even women who have been single for years can be boy crazy, it’s super toxic and will make you feel lonelier than even being alone.

Finding women that prioritize themselves and other women and cultivating that network will help so much. For me, outdoor activities like surfing or female hiking groups were the best places to find these women, but you can tailor it to your interests.

I also thought maybe I should try living a normal life and wondered if I’d be happier, a few years ago. Met a great looking man, started dating, met his family, got along well with him… still wasn’t happy. Still felt alone in conversations with him, and could tell he’d never understand me in the way that I needed to be understood. Sometimes what is appealing is only so because it seems far away and unattainable. Once you finally have it… it loses its luster. Hope you find a way to build your life in a way that cultivates the most growth and happiness for you, I’m rooting for ya girl! ❤️ No one has it figured out but we just need to keep trying and what is good for us will stick

[mutable-manifestation]

Ghost Chirps AU Part 5

Part 1 & 2

Part 3

Part 4

***

While “Jason” (i.e. Alfred with an empty jet that Jason will meet up with later in order to “arrive” in Amity) hops a private jet, Red Hood is busy searching the Fenton home from top to bottom.

The local police move slowly, and by the time they arrive Jack and Maddie Fenton are both tied up and disarmed in their living room under heavy guard.

They hadn’t been restrained immediately, Batman talking him into giving them a chance to implicate themselves first.

Hood let him take the lead, but he didn’t even get a chance to ask a question, being cut off at the first indication he might want to talk about their “work.” Less than 60 seconds in, and the pair had outright confessed to violating the meta protection acts - and in tedious detail.

The questioning didn’t suffer any from them being tied up.

Far from the mulish silence or crocodile-tear laden denial of most criminals, they instead doubled down, insisting that nothing they had done was illegal, then jumping to the assumption that they were “possessed” - and boy had it been a nasty surprise when the whole house came alive trying to attack them with a quick verbal command.

Well, trying to attack Hood. And only him, for some reason.

One laser also freed the Fentons, who turned out to have even more weapons built into their suits. 

Somehow. 

Despite them being skintight.

That had been a pain, but Red Robin was able to hack the system using one of the couples’ own devices while Hood dodged - and kept the stray fire away from the others - leaving everyone else to recapture the pair. A blessedly simple task once they found out the lasers would splash harmlessly off of their armor (save for a gross film of green goop left wherever they grazed).

They take turns knocking each unconscious to change them in order to properly disarm them - Batman and Nightwing taking Jack first, followed by Orphan and Spoiler dealing with Maddie. 

The only non-weapon laden clothing they own turns out to be pajamas. 

This is around when the police show up, looking hesitant.

They, too, cite the “Anti-Ecto Acts.”

Oracle had debriefed them on the supposed Acts and “Ghost Investigation Ward” on their short drive over. Both were utterly bogus - the Acts had never even been proposed, let alone been approved as law, and the so-called “GIW” had no ties to the government.

The Fentons had been furious and denied the information intensely when told, but the cops mostly just looked relieved.

Apparently there’d been a lot of property damage by the GIW and Fentons both that had supposedly been dismissed under the Acts as “necessary in the pursuit of ecto-scum.”

For the Fentons, half of this damage was in the form of broken fire hydrants, cracked sidewalks, and totaled cars - they’d never been good drivers, before, the cops disclosed, but they’d become even more negligent since the ghosts began appearing, to the point they had to have a news segment warning when they would be on the road.

The lack of fatalities thus far had been nothing short of a miracle, they claimed.

“Of course there haven’t been any fatalities!” Mrs Fenton defends. “Our work is to protect people from those things, not make more! Officers, listen to reason-” Hood snorts disdainfully -”The Red Hood is clearly a ghost! All our systems targeted him the moment they came online - and they only target ecto-entities. He’s clearly taken these heroes under his sway - why else would they be working with a murderer!? You have to do something before he starts up his killing here in Amity!”

The officers look at him a bit hesitantly, but Batman is unmoved and gives the cover story Hood had outlined back in the alley.

Any concerns the locals have are quickly assuaged.

But for the whole explanation, Jason is trying not to shake even as he falls apart in place.

Their little website called them ghost-hunters, making it pretty clear what “ecto-entities” meant. 

Their system supposedly only targets ecto-entities.

The system had only targeted him.

The system only targets ghosts.

Jason had died.

A lot of his family members had died, too, granted. 

But Jason was the only one who seemed to come back wrong - anger sticking in his throat and never quite fading, an inclination towards violence even when he wasn’t angry well beyond what he’d ever felt before, and a sea of other emotions (that he would never acknowledge aloud) and triggers for those emotions that he always struggled to make heads or tails of.

He doesn’t have the meta gene. He knows that. He knew that.

He just assumed that the test missed it, because he knows he doesn’t know magic - the All Blades being the only exception - and he couldn’t think of another explanation at the time.

But he came back wrong.

And as he stands there, he wonders if he came back at all, mind on Solomon Grundy.

Wonders if he isn’t just some ghost, wandering around possessing his own corpse.

He jolts, as the thought strikes him: what about Danny?

If he’s a ghost and chirping is a ghost thing then what about his KID!?

Absently, he notes that Bruce has started interrogating the cops on what they meant by “ghost attacks.” 

He ignores the discussion, hustling for the door in the kitchen down to the lab.

He slams and locks the door behind him - in Red Robin’s face - as he descends, making a b-line for the computer he’d seen when the Fentons had dragged them all down there to start bragging about their crimes.

The only thing Oracle could get out of the whole building was things that were openly available online; direct connections were impossible.

Opening up the screen, he gets to cracking.

Going for the surface level files first, it turns out he doesn’t even need so much as a password to find what he wants.

One of the video game sub-files has an unrelated file in it: ghost notes.

There are plenty of other notes, of course, but he’d only been skimming to start, looking for anything hidden.

The Fenton parents were too open to bother, of course, with plenty of more obvious files strewn haphazardly across the home screen, but it’s always better to check. That there is a hidden file means it was likely made by either Danny or Jazz.

And it’s a treasure trove.

Sub-files for rogues, allies, conditional allies, and “halfas” were what greeted him.

The last being the only term he didn’t recognize, he clicked.

6 files: Clones, Danny, Dani, Dan, Vlad, and Red Hood.

He clicks his own file.

What greets him is a picture of himself 4 days ago, looking just to the left of the lens in an alley that he distinctly remembers searching for the kid in.

Just below is text.

~~~

??? Name: Red Hood

Species: probably a halfa

Status: Nnnneutral? I think? I know, I know, heads in bags. But Valerie tries to kill me all the time! And we’re allies sometimes! Hood- uh- looked for me? Okay I guess I can’t really judge this yet but please read the first met section before you judge please you guys?

First met: Aug 17, 2005, was in Gotham to bother Batman, stopped to think a bit on some fire escape - decide on the first prank yknow - but then my ghost sense went off. It felt like a halfa so I thought “oh cool, must be Dani” so I chirped, but then Red Hood - who was chasing some guy down an alley at the time - froze and looked around. I dropped visibility and chirped again and yeah, he definitely heard it. Humans can’t so he’s definitely a halfa - no glow so he can’t be a full ghost and it felt nothing like an overshadowing. 

Ended up following Hood around the rest of week - forgot to prank Batman, damn - and playing hide-and-seek with the chirps. It was really funny. But he very obviously doesn’t know he’s a halfa. But the guy is, like, scary levels of smart, so I’m sure he’ll figure it out on his own now that the chirp thing made it clear that something is up. Hopefully.

I figure I can go back in winter break - he should have it figured out and let his emotions process enough by then to at least hear me out when I explain the AEA and GIW and everything, then it won’t matter so much if he can, like, track me by voice or something if I talk since we’ll have MAD by then.

Despite his reputation, the people living in his haunt seem to love the guy. I can see why. On top of the whole smart he’s actually really nice to people he’s not shooting in the knees (which only even happened one time in the week I was there? It was actually pretty relaxing - most quiet week I’ve had since the portal opened THANK YOU TUCKER for hacking the portal hatch to be inoperable for a week). 

Where was I? Oh yeah, he’s actually surprisingly nice to people? So like, I think he’ll probably hear me out if I go back and be polite? I hope. Hate to leave the guy in the dark and him end up on the GIWs dissection table for “lots and lots of painful experiments.”

Not that those guys could even catch the Box Ghost. But uh, Hood doesn’t seem to have powers either? Or if he does he doesn’t know about them I don’t think - he only used the chirp the whole time I was their - not even to cheat with moving around.

Seriously. That guy's acrobatics could make Freakshow’s contortionist green - er, red??? - with envy. Actually wait, aren’t contortionists and acrobats different things?

SAM NOTE: help^?

Powers: 

?

~~~

Jason leans back, breathing deeply.

“Not a full ghost,” “not 'overshadowed'” - a term that sounds likke some kind of cousin to possesision - “definitely a halfa,” “humans can’t hear chirps.”

Halfa. 

Half. 

Ghost. 

Half Ghost.

It should sound absurd - you can’t be half alive and half dead.

But Jason has seen the Lazarus pits, has met Solomon Grundy, has met aliens and bullshit magic and can pull magical swords out of his own damn chest.

Half alive. Half dead.

Hopefully not just a fancy way to say possessing his own corpse.

He doesn’t have time to deal with every file - he’ll “confiscate” one of their USBs with a copy of everything for himself before leaving the rest to Batman & co, of course, minus the halfa files (a small part of him wants to shove his condition in Bruce’s face and demand he kill the clown again even though he knows it’s a futile hope, but the rest - the same part that snapped and denied and refused to say he was a meta less that a day ago now - cannot stomach the thought of even more rejection. Of a Bruce that believes he’s a monster. Of a Bruce that mourns him even while he’s right there. Or at least, more than he already does.) - but while the files copy he take the time to look at Danny’s.

The image has two people, Danny Fenton on one side and a version of the kid in a black hazmat suit with white hair, tanned skin, and painfully familiar green eyes. And floating.

~~~

Human Name: Danny Fenton

Ghost Name: Danny Phantom

Species: Halfa (half-human, half ghost)

~~~

It’s the section after that that makes Jason’s breath catch in his throat.

~~~

Death: The Portal Accident

So like, there was no audio (thank GOD I do not want to hear myself screaming) so. Details: When the portal didn’t work when they plugged it in mom and dad left for fudge, Jazz went to try and talk them into a more realistic career choice than ghosts. Sam and Tucker came over and Sam dared me to climb in and check it out - it was broken anyway so no harm. Except it wasn’t broken, just that my parents put the on button inside. Which I caught myself on when I tripped on a wire.

Anyway, electrocution! 

(T - Danny for the love of god be more serious, the cheerful tone is creepy)

(D - Hey! I’m the one who died! Shouldn’t I at least get to write my own epitaph)

(S - …Danny this is not an epitaph. You don’t even HAVE a grave)

(D - wow way to rub it in Sam)

(T - yeah Sam)

(S - ugh! Whatever, just stop with the chatting in official files)

(T - “official”)

(S - Tucker.)

(T - shutting up now)

Electrocution! I got zapped to death, but the ectoplasm from the portal was also opening up on top of me and a lot got bonded to me I guess (S - probably because of the electricity with how you ended up with some of Vortex' powers for a little while) at the same time said electricity was reviving me? - probably getting my heart beating again or something, I was a little busy screaming to pay attention (T - yeah okay we're going to Nasty Burger after this. And playing Doomed) - not that it would’ve mattered without the ghostification preventing me from melting me all the way to death.

Status: Me!

Powers:

Chirps! (ghost echolocation of some kind! humans can't hear em - halfas can, of course, in either form)

Form Change (really Sam? This barely counts)

Human form

Ghost form (no need to breathe)

Flight (last clock speed 210mph) (T - and climbing. Dang dude)

Invisibility (S - don’t forget shareable.) (Shareable. sigh)

Intangibility (Shareable)

Ecto Rays (eyes & hands) (T - and butt) (D - dude! I’m deleting that. Tucker why can't I delete it. TUCKER) (T - bow down in awe of my ksill) (S - ksill) (D - ksill) (T - yeah okay it’s permanent now) (D - aw man!)

Ghost Sense (S - why do we never test your range?) (D - no need? They always make themselves obvious or are being sneaky specifically to annoy me so *shrug*) (S - I still think we should test it)

Power Absorption (that time with Vortex’s weather powers)

Cryokinesis (Wayyyyy to much ice. NOT testing max output on that) (T - yeah frozen city was enough, let’s not cause an ice age. Tech needs some cool but too much is still bad and I just upgraded Patricia)

Ghostly Wail (cone of destruction, very exhausting - always at max output. Not to be used)

GHOST FORM ONLY (but really just never)

Cartoon Body (D - what???) (S - Freakshow literally turned you into a puddle and you just turned back and were fine. I don’t know what else to call that) (D - okay fair. but:)

GHOST FORM ONLY

Physical Enhancement (better strength, speed, stamina, durability, reflexes, balance, etc much better than human) (T - why does this look like dnd knockoff stats haha)

GHOST FORM ONLY (S - obviously mr last place in PE)

Resistances (pretty solid on the overshadowing, avoided being taken in by Ember until targeted, didn’t get turned to stone during the Medusa thing) (S - which was pure luck! Be careful!)

Ecto Electricity (ghost stinger, but I really don’t think this counts Sam. I mean I just. Make my ecto zappy. But it’s still just ecto) (S - so is your ICE and you don’t just call that "just cold ecto") (D - fine, but it feels overly specific) (S - maybe writing it all down will make you stop. Forgetting. POWERS!) (D - come on Sam that was a lucky hit! I was distracted! And it turned out fine!) (S - Fenton…) (D - oop okay doing fire now)

Ecto Fire (made Dash’s shoes melty that one time by make the ecto hot) (T - really needs more testing)

Tech possession (chasing Technus into computers, not very tested)

Ghost form only, i guess?

Overshadowing (control people, copy their voice, invade dreams - the control one erases the person’s memory so they don’t know they were overshadowed just lost time. I hate Walker. SO much) (T - rip Danny’s reputation, you’ll be missed)

Probably ghost form only

Duplication (T - That’s optimistic) (D - I’M WORKING ON IT OKAY!?) (S - pretty sure it just falls under cartoon body until you can actually separate) (D - :( betrayal)

Probably ghost form only

More? (D - ugh I hope not) (T - hey don’t say that, maybe you’ll get a power to make the JL give a crap about Amity) (D - honestly I’m getting pretty close to letting Boxy loose in Gotham) (S - Danny, don’t stoop to their level!) (D - it's only box ghost!) (T - I mean he has a point)

~~~

Jason changes his mind, seeing the commentary, and deletes the entire hidden file from the computer as soon as his copy is made. He can go over everything and bring any important info to Bruce separately, the bat’s can just chew on the parents’ files for now.

Once the original files are thoroughly and irretrievably removed he pockets his shiny new USB, makes a second one with all the official files, and heads back up and out - carelessly brushing past a thoroughly irate Red Robin with a pair of firemen and broken jaws of life. And not a scratch on the door; impressive - just in time to get Oracle’s text that he’s got 2 hours and 16 minutes to be at the location on his HUD so he can “arrive” to Amity.

And a fresh set of civilian clothes will be waiting in the plane, Alfred as reliable as ever.

“Files,” he says, tossing the safe USB to Batman and interrupting his interrogation of the police officer.

He catches it effortlessly of course, but the officer stops paying attention to him to jolt at Hood’s reappearance - even outside of Gotham his reputation is fierce.

“I sent a copy to myself. I’ll review them and give you an overview, but other than that consider this the end of my involvement in this little shitshow,” he says, continuing smoothly to the door. “I’m heading back to Gotham.”

Now, he has a little over two hours before Jason Todd needs to arrive in Amity Park. He only needs to lay hands on a laptop that he can isolate from Babs’ influence and he should be able to review the Halfa files in full before he "lands" - after he figures out just why the kid has a grudge against the JL.

[butchviking]

i hate being a mentally ill adult actually. i hate that there’s always groceries to be bought and housekeeping to do and work in the morning i hate that we have no space to feel it all i hate that we walk around acting normal. there are so many people i know who are clearly deeply unhappy with their lives and we make silly little jokes that allude to it but sometimes i want to grab them by the shoulders and scream ‘i know you are miserable!! we can’t keep living like this!! this is why people break!!’ im sick of this drudgerous apathy i want us all to be dramatic like when we were teenagers i want us to sob together and scream bloody murder at each other and tell each other we want to kill ourselves not as a funny post-ironic joke but because we all feel like that sometimes!! i want us to get fucked up on god knows what til we can’t open our eyes i want us to take care of each other instead of always taking care of ourselves i want us to be vulnerable i want us to hold each others hands in the ambulance!!

[edwardallenpoe]

Just off the bat: sex =/= gender identity. It's not accurate to say that intersex people are "both genders" and it's not true for many of us to have "parts" that "correlate with both sexes" (i for one have mostly typical female parts but my hormones make me intersex. Many intersex people have hormonal or gonadal variations but everything else is "perfectly normal" for the sex they were assigned at birth) There are so many different variations, so many different ways to be intersex and it's kinda ignorant to say that intersex people just have "both parts" and then correlate our variations to gender identity.

And like another person said, our intersexuality actually makes it way harder to be accepted for the genders we choose to identify with. A lot of intersex people were forced into a gender role either medically, legally, or both, and while some intersex people can live their lives as the gender they were assigned at birth, most of us get shamed and oppressed a thousand times more just because we're "broken" (even within the trans community, we have to be either or, even though binary language serves no one but especially doesn't serve intersex people). It is very very rare that an intersex person chooses how to present themself and gets respected for it, even for cis people. (I for example again, was assigned female/girl at birth, and even before I came out, everyone still had a problem because I wasn't the "right" kind of girl, which could have been a mixture of racism, fatphobia and intersexism.)

It's pretty inaccurate and offensive also to say that intersex people are just "physically nonbinary/gender nonconforming/genderqueer ect." Bc every body is nonbinary. Every body is gender nonconforming. And genderqueer. Bc gender is a social construct that you can't see. But intersex bodies are something you can see. (You didn't say explicitly but it still goes with the point that intersex people are the perfect example of gender identity. What does "perfect example of gender identity" even mean?)

Anyways, i know you meant well but. Yeah. Assuming you're mtf friend is perisex, please take the time to talk to and make friends with more intersex people and ask them about different things that aren't invasive.

I recommend looking at these blogs to learn more. @/interactyouth @/intersexfairy @/intersex-support @/intersexcat-tboy @/intersex-questions @/intersex-support @/genderqueerdykes @/dabwax

correct me if i’m wrong, but a lot of intersex people are some of the best examples of gender identity. they’re born with parts that correlate with both sexes, yet a lot of intersex people choose to identify as male or female during their life. their gender identity doesn’t always perfectly match their biology, but we accept them as women/men nonetheless. and of course there are also intersex people who might identify with neither male/female, and that’s okay too.

(sincerely, a cis woman who’s been studying gender theory lately because i was inspired by my MTF friend!)

[stuckinapril]

.

[thresholdbb]

Can we talk about The Dying Swan moment in Coda? As someone who was once a very serious ballerina, I need to talk about the Dying Swan. Here's your context --

CHAKOTAY: Harry's clarinet solo was okay. I could have done without Tuvok's reading of Vulcan poetry. But the highlight of the evening was definitely Kathryn Janeway portraying the Dying Swan. JANEWAY: I learned that dance when I was six years old. I assure you, it was the hit of the Beginning Ballet class.

Have you seen The Dying Swan? It is dramatic.

Here, take a minute:

First of all, this dance is much too advanced for a six-year-old, even if they’re doing it in demi pointe. (Six-year-olds emphatically should not be in pointe shoes btw.) The dance is almost entirely bourees and arm movements done to very subtle musical cues, not the foundational ballet moves typically taught in Beginning Ballet.

This is a very vulnerable, dramatic dance that is effective because of its subtleties. The performer would need to embody that vulnerability in some way for a convincing performance. It's short, but it's a solo piece -- all eyes on you. I mean, it was choreographed for a prima ballerina, BUT THAT'S NOT MY POINT

Can you imagine our unflappable Captain Janeway willingly getting in front of her crew to do this ballet? I get that it’s thematically relevant to the plot of Coda, but since Janeway is only vulnerable in front of her crew when it means putting herself in harm’s way, it seems like a wild decision. She tends to hold herself apart from her crew, maintaining the professional distance of the captain. Further, when she does any creative pursuit, it is almost always in private, since her sister was the artist in the family and she was the scientist. As a captain, she commands Voyager in a much different way than she would as a dancer with this piece. I'm not saying she never shows vulnerability because she definitely does, but not necessarily in this way. Then when she talks about it with Chakotay, she just casually brushes it off with a laugh like no big deal.

There’s also the question of costume – would she have gone full tutu? Done it in her Starfleet uniform? An impeccable yet flow-y white suit? She does get into costume and command a performance in Bride of Chaotica!, but Coda is still kind of early days for our captain. Arachnia aligns more with what we know about Janeway's character.

Granted, it is Chakotay laying down these complements about her dancing ability and he is clearly biased. To be fair, Neelix does too before they leave in the shuttle. If she did this dance and performed it poorly or amazingly, I feel like the crew would look at her a bit differently afterwards.

Canonically she did The Dying Swan, but I certainly have trouble picturing it happening.

[bredforloyalty]

logically or cognitively or w/e i know i'm not insane but then why do i get the sense that i am

[riacte]

how many seconds in eternity?

“Ren,” False says, “how long did you spend in that confession dial?”

Ren waves a dismissive hand. He’s facing away from her and focusing on calibrating the TARDIS. “It’s fine,” he mumbles.

False pauses, her stare growing sharp. “That wasn’t my question. How many years, Ren?” When Ren doesn’t reply, the ugly realisation dawns on her. She grips her multipass until it hurts, fingers slick with sweat. “How many centuries, Ren? How many thousands of years?”

“I’m a Time Lord, m’dude. I’ve lived a thousand years,” is Ren’s bland and unhelpful reply. False scowls and walks up to him. But upon seeing his hunched back and his frazzled hair, greyer than ever, her heart softens. (As it always does.)

“Look at me, Ren.” Her voice is quiet, trembling, but gentle.

Ren stills. After a second of eternity, he turns around. False’s heart lurches. She’s seen the deadness in his eyes before— he looks like that when he thinks about his past companions— but there’s unsettling, untamed madness swirling in the abyss. Because despite his gentlemanly behaviour and niceties and attempts at pacifism, he’s not human. Never is. He’s a Renegade, a Time Lord gone loose. And False instinctively knows: something inside him snapped.

Her hand shakes as she reaches for his cheek. “Your hand’s cold,” he remarks wryly, the dullness in his eyes terrible and unflinching. “You don’t have a pulse.”

False swallows. “Well, yeah. I’m dead.”

“No, you’re not. You’re not dead. You’re right in front of me, and we’re in the TARDIS, speeding off to the end of the universe.” Ren quickens his tone like he’s trying to return to his usual technobabble. “And everything will return to normal, trust me.”

Ren is avoiding the topic. “They made you suffer,” False continues. “They tortured you— a-and I—“

She doesn’t even know where to begin. She’s not good with words like he is. Emotion swells and overwhelms her. She feels sick. She feels motionless. She’s stuck between one heartbeat and another, stuck between this sentence and the next one, stuck between what little Ren tells her now and what he’ll tell her later.

Ren’s eyes never leave her face. His lips part. The words drop calmly. “4.5 billion years.”

And False is perfectly still, the wind knocked out of her. She stares— no, glares at him with disbelief. Disgust, even. She can’t even begin to comprehend the enormity of what he just said. A thousand years, a million years, a billion years, four and a half billion years… these are timescales that a human like her can never understand.

“Why would you do that to yourself?!” False hisses, instantly furious. “I was already dead! You could get out any time you wanted!”

“I needed a bargaining chip!” Ren bursts out. “I couldn’t tell them what they wanted!”

False feels sick. Genuinely sick. “A bargaining chip for my life? Why would you do that?”

When Ren stares at her, she doesn’t just see the current incarnation of him. She sees the past him, the Octagon version of him, grey and shattered and guarded. And oh, he’s gone mad. The Renegade’s actually gone mad. Now he’s not a saviour, or a defender of the Earth, or an upholder of justice. No, this is the Time Lord with all his rules stripped away, raw and untethered— the Time Lord that his victims fear, the Time Lord who burns up suns and stars. All of this for her, a human companion?

In the harsh lines of his face, she simultaneously sees otherworldly cruelty and unbearable softness. Human and inhuman. In front of her is a Time Lord— but still her Time Lord. His Adam’s apple bobs.

“I have a duty of care.”

She wants to hug him, but at the same time she can’t bear to touch him. He must’ve seen the look on her face because he continues with, “I don’t want to lose you, Falsie.” His voice breaks at the affectionate nickname. “I’ve lost everyone else. They’re dead or gone or lost in time or have forgotten me. But I remember everything. I have to remember everything. You’ve known me all my lives. You’ve been there to help me, whether you remember it or not. The missing pieces. My Impossible Girl.”

False gazes at the anguished figure of her best friend. “But I don’t want to lose you, too.” It’s a weak retort, but she can’t really form words right now.

“We’re not going to lose each other,” Ren promises. He straightens his back, and False is suddenly struck by how old he is. Even more so after the lifetime he spent in the dial.

“You better not do anything stupid again,” she says curtly, knowing full well he always will.

Ren fixes her with a stare, but doesn’t say a word. He picks up his screwdriver and moves to another control panel. False is left standing there, her hands nervously fidgeting with her multipass, the one with her name lovingly printed on it.

Oh, God. He’s not even bothering to lie to her.

Doctor Who AU (Rendog centric)

(Vaguely based on Ren’s characters although they do get shuffled around, major character deaths)

The story begins with Time Lord Ren (short for Renegade) and Time Lord Iskall growing up in Kingdomcraftia. They used to be best friends but then something happened and now they’re each other’s arch nemesis but in a homoerotic way. Ren travels in his TARDIS which is usually a vehicle of sorts, for example a camper van or a spaceship.

Fast forward to the incarnation Renbob, who lives a happy hippie life with companions Grian and Impulse. Their goal is to take down Area 77 headed by a mysterious figure named Doc. This takes place next to a town called Falsewell. Renbob feels there’s something about this Doc that is familiar and he theorises Doc knows about him in the future / he’s forgotten about Doc, but Doc never confirms anything. Insert weird and inexplicable Rendoc tension. Grian accidentally takes control of the TARDIS and transports the hippies into an “alpha” version of the world. In the end Ren decides he wants a truce with Doc but Doc is like “nah, can’t do, sorry”. Something blows up, Doc erupts in flames, Ren regenerates and is forcibly transported into the past.

Grimdog is the War Doctor in which he “kills all the Time Lords” and gets really sad about it. He quickly regenerates into Stargazer Ren and finds his way back to Earth, however when he lands, he finds out his companions Grian and Impulse have peacefully passed away of old age and it’s “confirmed in time” that they didn’t do more adventures together. Ren is devastated but is comforted that his hippies lived out full and happy lives.

Stargazer is a cautious incarnation unlike the previous carefree and merry Renbob. Stargazer doesn’t know what he wants but he feels compelled to follow his fate, whatever that means. At first, he considers himself a “loser” and ambivalently travels through time and space, then he stumbles into Martyn, a knight from the medieval times who turns his life upside down. Stargazer is charmed by Martyn’s wit and takes him to places, and Martyn dramatically declares he will follow Ren because “he showed him life”. Slowly, they change each other for the better.

Doc (or a younger version of him) makes a reappearance. Ren is surprised but Doc acts like he's known him for a long time. Doc doesn’t seem to know what happened at Area 77 so Ren assumes it’s some time travelling shenanigans. Ren has always wanted to befriend Doc and feels a strange kind of fondness for him, so while he’s confused about this Doc, he doesn’t question it or tell Doc about his future. Ren and Doc start to meet out of sync.

Stargazer receives a mysterious message that "you are never alone". This turns out to be a reference to Iskall, who survived Grimdog "destroying" Kingdomcraftia. Iskall can also regenerate and is currently in his "Pacific" incarnation. Ren and Martyn complain "Pacific" is not an adjective. Martyn is jealous of Iskall and his strange codependent bond with Ren. Iskall tries to destroy the world or something but is stopped, and then escapes. Iskall and his future incarnations continue to meet Ren and his future incarnations.

Their happy time is cut short at the Red Winter incident in which Martyn stares into a Time Vortex and becomes the Red Winter entity to save Ren. Martyn influences the universe by repeatedly posting the words “Red Winter is Coming” to make sure him and Ren end up at the right place for their timeline to work. Stargazer kisses Martyn to extract the Time Vortex energy and save him. Ren begs Martyn to behead him with an axe, and a pained Martyn agrees. Ren becomes the other half of the Red Winter entity and regenerates into the Red King. Ren subconsciously chose the form of RK because he thought Martyn might like a king better.

RK and Martyn have a jolly time travelling the universe until the Battle of Dogwarts in which Martyn is transported into a parallel universe and can’t come back. This shatters RK and has a major impact on him. A grieving RK eventually picks up Bdubs as a companion and it sort of feels like a rebound at first but they form their own dynamic. RK also finds a companion in Cleo (“I just want a mate.” “You want TO MATE?” “Oi, watch it zombie girl!” “Oi, watch it space dog!”). Eventually bad things happen, Martyn comes back through a rip in the universe, the gang is about to die, the world is going to end, etc. Cleo touches RK’s fallen crown and triggers a meta-crisis, becoming part Time Lord and creating the Meta-crisis RK who is a human clone of RK. They save the world but RK erases Cleo’s memory to save her. RK gifts the clone RK to Martyn before they are separated forever (again). Funnily enough, Martyn’s RK has traits absorbed from Cleo. Bdubs decides to stop travelling with Ren but remains in touch with him.

(Human RK and Martyn eventually become pirates together and live out a life as captain and lieutenant.)

RK fucks around for a bit and ponders on his mortality. In the end, before he regenerates, he visits past Martyn one last time and promises his loyal Hand that he will have a fantastic year. RK is unwilling to let go of his crown and tearfully declares “I don’t want to go!”.

RK regenerates into Knight Ren, who is the Last Life/ Double Life version of Ren. In some ways this is a response to King Ren and his failure to protect his friends. If he can’t be a leader, maybe he can serve a leader. He picks up companions Lizzie and BigB. Lizzie also has a partner (Joel). When Ren initially meets BigB, he is confused by the soulbound connection they share (in which they feel the same things), so they decide to find out what happened. They have fun adventures together, Doc and Iskall swing by sometimes, then tragedy strikes.

Joel gets touched by a Weeping Angel and is sent back in time and dies. Lizzie decides to follow him back, so Ren loses both of them at the same time. Ren and BigB cling onto one another. Ren gets paranoid that his enemies want BigB due to their miraculous connection and his TARDIS transforms into a protective fortress called "The Box". Unfortunately, Ren and BigB still face a crisis. Ren is unwilling to lose BigB and realises BigB is his soulbound because he made it that way to save him. They are stuck in a paradox. With no other choice, Ren links BigB to him, erases BigB's memory, and sends him back in time so the past Ren will meet the soulbound version of BigB. Ren understands the only life he can live with BigB is the time the paradox allows and he can never change it.

A freak accident causes Knight Ren to regenerate into Octagon Ren, who is constantly on high alert and suspects the world is not what it seems like. Octagon Ren was "supposed" to follow Stargazer Ren, but Stargazer did a detour and regenerated into RK for Martyn's sake and subsequently Knight Ren. Octagon Ren has a prosthetic arm and leg. This is where the arc with Doc unfolds. It turns out they're married and both time travellers meeting out of sync. Octagon Ren finally meets Doc for the first time on Doc's side. Ren remembers he first met Doc on his side back at A77, and understands Doc tried to keep it from him because A77 is a fixed point in time. A77 is necessary for Ren to be sent back into the past and set his life into motion. Doc doesn't know he'll die at A77 but Ren does. Angst ensures. Insert Hermatrix technobabble. Octagon Ren and Doc spend one last night together before Doc does his duty of returning to A77 to act as the "villain". He thinks he'll be back, but Ren knows this is the last time he'll ever see him.

Octagon Ren, exhausted and burdened by his various losses, stumbles into False. Slowly, he remembers False (or versions of her) always seem to be around. Falsewell had a mayor, the tourney in which RK won his crown also had a False. In fact, every incarnation of his has met False in some way. Ren recalls feeling "a missing piece" when he hasn't met False yet, and it's not the same when the character she plays isn't close by. False is The Impossible Girl and this drives Ren mad.

Octagon Ren regenerates into Gigacorp Ren with False as his witness. Gigacorp Ren is the oldest of all incarnations, both physically and emotionally. He has greying hair and is more mellow than Octagon Ren. Gigacorp Ren greatly trusts False and gives her a multipass (key) to his TARDIS, so everything he owns is also hers. Ren eventually begs False to escape in his TARDIS with the multipass to save her at the cost of his life, which she refuses to do so but he forces her anyway. False travels to the end of Ren's timeline to interfere with it and hence save him, but gets shattered into many versions of herself across Ren's timeline to make up for her damage. This is why Ren feels a strong sense of familiarity — the various Falses he encounters are part of his timeline and hence his fate.

At the cost of fixing Ren's timeline, False's death becomes a fixed point in time. Ren promises he'll do anything to save her, even spending years locked in his personal hell with an immortal killing snail for her. Ren vows to fight off the "Reapers" sent to kill False as much as he can. He brings her to the end of the universe to save her, but that doesn't work. He decides to erase False's memory, but she erases his memory of her instead to spare him the anguish.

Ren, alone in his TARDIS, wakes up. The only thing in his hand is a multipass, which is weird because Ren's own TARDIS key doesn't look like this. He thinks there should be a name written on it, but for the life of him he can't remember who it is. Who did he travel with, and who returned this to him?

[j-esbian]

i lost the post but i saw someone talking about how some of y’all act like being weird is a choice and like. YEAHHHHHHH.

that’s fine, it might be for you. but i just live like this and don’t know any other way. like yeah i’ve worked customer service, i can do innocuous small talk, but anything beyond that, i don’t understand what i’m missing. and it’s frustrating to see the tonal disconnect especially from people who are like “uwu embrace weirdness!!” where they’re like. dressing quirky and talking about bugs and listening to obscure music and eschewing small talk to ask Deep Questions on the first date and unlearning their tendency to not infodump. and generally have an idea of what Weirdness is supposed to look like. idk man some of us wake up and get out of bed and can’t figure out why the rest of their coworkers chitchat with each other but when they join the conversation it dies.

weirdness is value neutral. let’s stop trying to turn it into a badge because quite frankly, it’s not a choice for everyone. it’s fucking exhausting to never be on the same wavelength as other people and they’re going to react the way they do and label you the way they will without any conscious actions on your end. it’s difficult to talk about this without feeling like you’ll be dismissed as immature, a teenager whining “no one understands me” but the thing is. sometimes you don’t grow out of feeling alone and different, and there’s no good way to talk about it without feeling like people will think you’re just fishing for pity.

[bunnihearted]

꒰୨୧꒱

[torchickentacos]