#(for me. and for no one else. everyone else is just living normally)
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I tried finding anyone in the comments who added any *actual* engagement suggestions to people who don't know how to do anything but say "hi", and could not, so here's to you my socially inexperienced comrades:
Find Common Ground.
the internet has made this incredibly easy, most people readily share information about the things they like, so Say Something about it or Ask them for their opinions. Ideally you want something you share an interest in, but something your curious about that they might be an expert on also does well in a pinch.
Share Something You Think They'd Enjoy
no, not porn. That comes much much later, if at all. This does require you to have some tangential knowledge of a genre of things that your desired conversation partner is interested in, but maybe hasn't shown awareness of yet. Sometimes they do already know about it and then you're just following the previous suggestion, yippee. This can always be done passively after getting to know people too. Everyone loves being reminded that they were being thought about. Be careful not to Info Dump when sharing these new things tho. No one wants to read paragraph after paragraph from a stranger. Which brings me to the next suggestion:
Engage Each Other Equally, and Be Patient
people have other things in their lives other than talking to you. Nothing is more annoying than someone who's impatient for a reply. "Are you still there?" and other similar innocuous quandaries can quick change your recipients perception of you into that of a chore. Sometimes this means what was spoken between you was forgotten, this is normal and ok. Don't let it eat you alive. Enjoy the time you have together when it happens, and find some other shit to do when it's not happening. Try not to over burden your conversation partner with extra dialogue during these bouts either. Many get overwhelmed by their notification numbers going up and up and up and can lead to your responses going unread for a lot longer.
Be Chill, Be Kind
most socially inexperienced people I've run into have this common problem where they get so excited about talking with someone that they start to over think their interactions after actually landing a good one. This is a special tip for you. Everything in the world can become something hopeful or terrifying depending on how you choose to consider them. You can find signs of any kind of potential disaster everywhere you look IF you go looking for them, so don't. You cannot prevent every terrible thing from happening, and hyper vigilance only makes things worse. Focus your effort on enjoying the good things, and mourn the bad when they happen. Listen to how other people say they feel instead of projecting your insecurities about what you worry they feel.
If It Ain't Working, Go Somewhere Else
there are no magic words you can string together to get the target of your affections to pay attention to you if they don't want to. Learn to cut your losses if things don't work out. It's nobody's fault when this happens. A failed conversation is a Neutral occurrence, happens all the time to everyone, so let go & move on elsewhere. There are a STAGGERING number of people in this world, you will most certainly run into others whereby you may try again.
online advice: simply saying ‘hi’ and nothing else isn’t the best opener for messaging a person you don’t know
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Purple Haze
synopsis: Due to screwing up at the Strawberryland Annual Fair, Mary Jane isn't very well liked by her fellow villagers. She hardly ever goes into town. Elsewhere in the little village is Peach Beomgyu, equally isolated but for entirely different reasons. After typical medical malpractice leads the unlikely pair to cross paths, things get smoky.
THIS FIC IS BASED ON THE STRAWBERRYLAND EVENT BY @thetxtdevil and @beomiracles 's concept of Peach Beomgyu but with tweaked bruising lore and can take place in a pre/post/parallel timeline to Little Apricot
pairing: Peach!Beomgyu x Marijuana!Reader ??????
wordcount: too many ~10k
warnings: MDNI, fluff/smut, hurt/comfort, sub!Beomgyu / softdom!reader, fem!reader sorry for pussy rocking, chubby!reader (she gets the munchies haha get it), pretty vanilla sex all things considered, but there is slight cum eating, bad language, drug use, smoking, edibles, reader has snake bites, that pottery scene from ghost but its teaching him to use a bong, other txt members mentioned, also chaewon don't worry about it, clementine was cute in strawberry shortcake and chaewon starts with c so i had to add her, idk what im doing, i don't normally write fics, this is basically just a disability allegory, beomgyu is a fuzzy peach like in the og, my shitty sense of humor is involved
author's note: this account may just be me dumping this fic and running. hope you enjoy if you have the same derangements as I do
Strawberryland is an idyllic little village, rather conservative in its values- after all, everyone that lives in it is a cute little hybrid motherfucker. The culture surrounds plants, especially fruits- gardening, exchanging foods, sharing recipes, etc. Residents nearly all tend to their own gardens, sharing heritage with a particular plant species. Some even had full orchards. A few of the villagers are quite popular, like Cherry Yeonjun or Lemon Drop Soobin. Others, though, are not- like Mary Jane.
Mary isn't a particularly tasty fruit. Rather, she was a flower, an herb. But she wasn't delicious. Sure, she was edible, but no one was baking her buds in treats for the taste. She was something else.
For a day job, Mary Jane puts herself to use as a town healer. After many years of trying her hand at helping with different things around town, she stumbled upon her uncanny ability to alleviate pain. Naturally skilled, she took care of whoever she could when the opportunity presented itself. Before long it became clear that this was her natural talent; this was all she knew how to do. Soon enough she settled into such a role. Although many thought she was a bit kooky and out there, she didn't really know what else to offer.
Though she has limited training, she is rather successful. Still, because she's a natural healer, her work is commonly thought of as improper. Dr. Chamomile and the others, licensed in medicine, are considered reputable. Mary Jane is considered shady- not above board.
Still, Mary wanted so badly to be a part of Strawberryland, to be among the people. After running into him at the local market, Mary took up baking alongside the kind Gingerbread Taehyun, who had a rather curious mind. In exchange for information on the mystery of the young woman living on the outskirts of town, he teaches her some basic recipes, including brownies.
Using what she learned, Mary Jane baked a big batch of brownies for the County Fair. But when people started to turn loopy after eating her treats, any salvageable bit of reputation she had left was gone. Blueberry Kai was so faded that Cherry Yeonjun had to carry him home on his back. When their precious youngest is threatened, the villagers accuse Mary Jane of trying to poison them. She is swiftly banned from the Fair. From then on, any appearance she made in town was met with scoffs.
Not everyone was so rude. Blueberry Kai, for example, still brought her pie when he had some to spare. "Just because you're not... great at baking, doesn't mean you're a bad person," he'd say, with a grimace. Others, like Clementine Chaewon, came to her for healing. Mary Jane was mostly shunned into her home, but she at least was not completely isolated.
Although her services are not under high demand, Mary takes great comfort in being able to contribute in at least this little way. The one thing that can heal her lonely heart is putting herself to good use. She soothes the pain of her fellow villagers whenever she can.
-
Something is wrong with Peach Beomgyu. Everyone in Strawberryland knows it. Hell, his hair isn't even Peach. Within a dilapidated cottage hidden in the forest, Beomgyu keeps to himself. He isn't like the other fruits. His garden doesn't bloom. His hair is dark. He is consistently covered in bruises. And although he is rather playful, he can only manage to brush aside his chronic pain so often. It isn’t uncommon for there to be a frown on his face.
Peach Beomgyu doesn't go into town much, but for reasons different than Mary Jane. It was an entire ordeal- he would have to ration his energy, plan for mishaps, and take time to recover after. Most of the time Beomgyu left the safe haven of his cottage, it was just to visit Chamomile at the clinic. Only the necessities.
Today is just one of many in a week of flare-ups for him. Once he has reluctantly exited his bed, Peach Beomgyu makes some tea, swirling a spoonful of apricot jam into the mix. Although the first sip is heavenly, and the warmth soothes his throat, the rest of his muscles still ache. After tossing and turning for the umpteenth time on the couch to get comfortable, he drops his book on the floor. He groans, defeated. If he couldn't even read, he might as well be dead.
-
"I'm sorry, Beomgyu. There's just nothing I can do," Dr. Chamomile sighs, scribbling something on the notepad on her desk. He wasn’t even sure she was listening. Or what she could be possibly writing down given the conversation. Maybe she was just doodling.
"Please, Dr. Chamomile. I know my condition cannot be cured, but there has to be something you can give me to at least help with the symptoms," Beomgyu pleads, eyes worn.
Dr. Chamomile sighs, her tired eyes blinking slowly. "I can offer you some tea to help the body relax, but that's really it. I've told you this time and time again."
Frustrated after being consistently let down, Peach Beomgyu can't help but slam his fist on the desk. "That stuff isn't strong enough! It doesn't do shit!"
At the sudden slam, Dr. Chamomile jumps, startled out of her stupor. Dr. Chamomile didn’t take nicely to being so violently bewildered. She scowls, a stern look suddenly on her face. "Then don't take the tea. Now get out. I have other patients," she mutters, jaw set. Beomgyu feels his heart fall at her look of disapproval, just like everyone else's. Head hung in shame, he sullenly leaves the office.
As Peach Beomgyu slowly hobbles through town, too stubborn to let anyone see him with a cane for fear they'll pity him all the more, he can't help but glare ahead. A raincloud practically hangs above his head. As he shuffles over the cobblestone, a cheerful voice snaps him out of his sulking. "Peach Beomgyu! It's good to see you," says Clementine Chaewon.
The short girl smiles up at him, excited by the opportunity to speak to someone so elusive. It almost makes Beomgyu's frown soften. No one ever looked that excited to see him. If anything, they winced. "...Hi Clementine Chaewon," he murmurs awkwardly, dropping his gaze.
Chaewon, although cheerful, is not tone deaf. "What's wrong?" she murmurs gently, tilting her head slightly to try and catch his eyes.
Beomgyu sighs, dragging a hand through his hair. "Dr. Chamomile says there's nothing more she can do for me. I mean, look at me. I'm all fucked up, there's no hiding it. How am I supposed to live like this, knowing I'm never going to get better?" His voice cracks with vulnerability as he extends his bruised arms. Shit- he really hadn't meant to say that much, especially stuff so dark. It just slipped out. Maybe he was beginning to reach a breaking point.
Chaewon's eyes widen. To say she didn't see that coming would be an understatement. Peach Beomgyu hardly ever spoke more than a few words, infamously quiet. After a moment, though, her gaze softens with compassion. "Beomgyu, please don't say that. You're not 'all fucked up'. You're just bruised," she gets out after a sputter.
Beomgyu sighs, unable to help but relent under her kind-hearted words. But who was going to pick on the bruised guy? Of course she had to say that. "Thanks. I just wish I wasn't in pain, that's all. Even if I am different from everyone else, even if I can't bear fruit- that's fine... I just wish these bruises didn't ache."
Chaewon sighs, nodding in understanding. She's quiet for a moment, gaze drifting aside as she thinks. Finally, she suggests, "Why not go to Mary Jane?"
Peach Beomgyu furrows his brows. It went without saying that he was a total homebody. The only people he knew in town were the ones he came across when he was forced out of his hideaway. "Who's Mary Jane?"
"Marijuana. She lives on Hemp Lane. She does natural healing. I know it sounds like snake oil salesman nonsense, but she really helped me when I hurt my back last year gardening!" Clementine Chaewon explains.
Beomgyu narrows his gaze as he considers this, nose scrunching up in distaste. As a well-read man, Beomgyu always thought of himself as informed. A man of science. He was too intellectual for essential oils and natural remedies. That stuff was all scams.
Still, the desperation in the back of his mind doesn't want to completely let go of the idea. It is still hope, albeit half-hearted. "...It's not like I have anything to lose," he sighs. "Thank you, Chaewon. I'll give it a shot."
Chaewon smiles once again. "Of course! Do you need any help getting home?"
Beomgyu frantically shakes his head. "Oh, no, no! Thank you, but I'm alright." And just like that, he scrambles to return to his walk home before she can insist. He's not sure if it's his pride or his general hatred of small talk that propels him, but he's off.
"No problem. Have a good night!" Chaewon calls after him with a wave and a beaming smile, before heading off in the other direction.
Beomgyu can't help but let out a huff as soon as he's out of earshot, pain shooting up his legs as he rigidly corrects his posture for imagined prying eyes. Appearing in public was always a performance. As he continues the trek home, it's as if his mind turns off. The only thing he can focus on is the deliberate effort of every step. When his cottage finally comes into view, he thinks he could weep for joy.
Once inside, he collapses on the couch. He doesn't get up again until the next day.
-
It's about noon when Mary blinks her bleary eyes open. People didn't come by often, and certainly didn't in the morning hours. With a yawn, she stretches, relaxed muscles coming to life one by one.
It's a day like any other. Mary tends to her plants in the yard, watering and surveying them. She mostly grows marijuana, of course, the plant passed through her family. Still, she's experimented with many variations. Her favorite is Purple Haze for its beautiful color- and lucky is she, for it matches her hair.
Once Mary is satisfied with the state of her crops, she returns inside. She hums as she enters the kitchen, grabbing a few buds from a jar on the counter. In one swift move, she clicks on the radio and grabs the mortar and pestle.
Mary sings along to the tune as she grinds down the buds, too lost in the song to pay much attention. Once she feels little resistance, she smiles down at the bowl. Perfect.
When she sits down on the couch and sets the bowl on her coffee table beside her favorite bong, her tranquility is interrupted as she hears a knock at the door. She pauses, brows furrowing. Had she imagined that? No one called to say they were coming today. Maybe it was just part of the song on the radio?
When another knock is heard, she hums, pouting in surprise. She makes her way to open the door, only to have to squint into the bright sunlight.
Slowly, her pupils adjust to the light, green irises rimmed with red more visible. The young man standing before her isn't someone she recognizes, and he's at least a head taller than her as she looks up. "Hello," she murmurs with a lazy smile, eyes a bit droopy.
"Uh, hi. Are you Mary Jane?" Peach Beomgyu asks nervously. What was with this girl? She looked half asleep.
She blinks for a moment. "Hm? Oh, yeah. That's me," she drawls, a bit dazed. Still, Mary notices the way he shakes, frowning slightly and giving him a once over. It wasn't just anxiety- he was leaning on a cane of beautifully carved wood. Her eyes light up at the sight. "Holy shit, that's an excellent cane you have. Come in!"
Beomgyu's eyes widen a bit, not expecting a genuine compliment on his mobility aid. "Ah, thank you..." He nods with a slight blush, slowly stepping inside behind her. Mary closes the door and gestures for him to sit on the couch.
Mary Jane smiles, patiently waiting until he's comfortably sat to join him. "Did you carve it yourself?" she asks excitedly. With the cane at the forefront of her mind, she'd forgotten to ask why he was even here. It wasn't immediately important.
"Uh, yeah, I did..." Beomgyu says nervously, eyes surveying the items on her coffee table. A bowl of herbs and some sort of... phallic contraption. Maybe coming here was a bad idea.
"Well, you're very talented. I'm a bit of an artist myself in my free time, but everything I've whittled is shit compared to that," Mary chuckles, before catching herself cursing. "Oh shit- sorry, I have a bad habit of swearing..." she murmurs, voice softer and apologetic.
Peach Beomgyu chuckles. "It's fine. I'm not hurt by little words," he says with a smirk, before sighing. "So, Chaewon told me you do healing and stuff. Is that true?"
Mary blinks, spacey and having forgotten the task at hand. Ah! "Yeah, I try! I'm a bit of an amateur, but I do my best. I'm CPR certified by the Strawberry Council," she announces proudly, a self-satisfied grin on her face as she raises her chin high.
Beomgyu can't help but chuckle a bit at her goofy display of pride over something so simple. There's something charming about it. "Wow. I'm impressed," he murmurs half-heartedly.
Although Mary Jane picks up on his half-sincerity, she smiles. "Thanks. So you need to be healed, do you... what's your name?"
Beomgyu chuckles again. Mary didn't seem too quick to the punch. "I'm Peach Beomgyu. Nice to meet you," he introduces, giving a slight bow of his head, which Mary returns.
"A peach? No wonder you are here for healing. You're awfully bruised," Mary murmurs with a frown, gaze drifting from the brown hair atop his head to the marks on his fuzzy arms. It was as if she dumped a bucket of ice water on his head. Most of the villagers wouldn't acknowledge any of it out loud. Too awkward, too taboo. But Mary Jane is taboo.
It took Beomgyu a second to gather himself enough to answer coherently. "...Yeah... I was just born this way. I've been to Dr. Chamomile several times, and even traveled further to visit Dr. Ginseng, but there's no cure. The only thing I can do is try to be comfortable as I live with it," Beomgyu explains, voice a bit gentler than before. It was as if his voice handled the fragile topic as delicately as it could.
Mary Jane nods slowly, a look of acknowledgement taking over her eyes that betrays an unexpected wisdom. "So the system is failing you, and you need to get creative?" she murmurs, much more invested, though her little grin provides the smallest hint of levity. Peach Beomgyu lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding.
“Yeah… Can you help me?” Peach Beomgyu whispers, lower lip caught between his teeth. He didn’t mean to plead, but the desperation in his eyes was hard to hide. He didn’t want to hurt anymore.
Mary Jane smiles, resting a hand on his shoulder gently, careful not to hurt his tender skin. “Of course. I assume you are coming here because you're willing to try some less conventional options. You know about my reputation, right?" she asks with a grimace.
Beomgyu nods. "Yeah, I'm aware of the risks.... I'm still interested," he murmurs meekly.
Mary Jane nods, keeping a trained neutrality on her face so as not to sway his decision. "Marijuana helps with pain relief- not strong enough for surgery, for example, but certainly for body aches and pains,” she explains swiftly, sitting up straighter. “Do you smoke?”
Peach Beomgyu’s eyes widen a bit as his cheeks flush pink. “Uh, not really… I can if that’s the only option, but…” he trails off, awkwardly averting his gaze. He didn’t fuck with his lungs. He already had enough to deal with when it came to the bruising.
Mary Jane shakes her head with a smile. “No, no, don’t worry about it! I have edibles. It takes longer for it to kick in, but it is also generally stronger. Since this is your first time, I’ll give you a low dose to try,” she explains, standing to her feet. The soft patter of her feet is heard as she walks into her kitchen to retrieve two brownies- one for each of them.
“Brownies?” Beomgyu asks, furrowing a brow.
Mary Jane nods. “Yup! They might taste slightly off because of the pot, but I think they’re passable,” she says with a grin, extending the plate. Beomgyu takes a brownie, frowning slightly as he examines it. There was obvious hesitation in his eyes. Was it really worth this? He didn’t know what was scarier, if he had a bad reaction, or if it just didn’t work. Did he really want to eat something strange from this girl?
“Do you trust me?” Mary Jane asks softly, rousing him from his thoughts. Beomgyu was about to say no when he looks up at her face, at her eyes sparkling with hope, and suddenly he's taking a bite.
It was alright. He chews slowly.
Mary Jane beams, sitting beside him again and eating a brownie of her own.
The two finish their treats and sit in awkward silence.
“....So… How long is this supposed to take to kick in?” Peach Beomgyu whispers, twiddling with his thumbs.
“Twenty minutes on an empty stomach,” she murmurs back. “It has to digest to hit your bloodstream.”
“Oh,” Beomgyu remarks softly with a slight nod.
The silence is regular for Beomgyu, but unbearable for Mary Jane. After another minute, she can’t help but yap again. “So, Peach Beomgyu! I’m a healer or whatever, but what do you do? How do you pass the time?”
Beomgyu blinks, unsure where the girl who can barely keep her eyes fully open gets the energy. “Well, I don’t go out much on account of the bruising… I usually pass the time reading.”
At this, Mary Jane lights up. “Reading? I love books! What do you read?” she asks excitedly, nearly a golden retriever at this moment. Maybe if she’s enthusiastic enough, he will crack a smile.
Not yet, though. “Uh, mostly fantasy. I mostly read fiction, novels. I like scifi too, but fantasy is my favorite,” Beomgyu explains, more interested than before, maybe, but still far from excited.
“Ah. I only really read nonfiction. I’m a bit of a nerd, I guess,” Mary Jane confesses sheepishly. It’s this that finally gets a reaction out of Beomgyu, eyebrows shooting up.
“Nonfiction? Really? But isn’t it boring?” he implores, eyes widened. “I don’t really read that stuff for fun.”
“Not at all! I love to learn about the outside world. I can’t experience all of it myself, but I can learn about it. I can hear the stories of those who came before me, too. Of how the world became this way,” she muses, thoughtful words in contrast to her lazy drawl. At this, Beomgyu pouts in consideration. He gives her a shrug. “Besides, doesn’t fiction kind of get boring sometimes? When you think about how the stories aren’t even real…”
Peach Beomgyu can’t help but blink as he realizes the differences in their ways of thinking. He didn’t anticipate that this eccentric girl would be, perhaps, a bigger nerd than him, but anything was possible. Before he can think much further into it, though, his eyes start to feel a bit fuzzy- and not like his peach fuzz. “Uh, Mary Jane? I’m starting to feel it, I think,” he stutters softly, chest warm.
Mary Jane’s eyes light up as she peers over at him, examining his demeanor. Drooping posture, half-lidded eyes… “You’re high,” she smiles.
“High?” Beomgyu asks, brows furrowing. “Isn’t that bad?”
Mary Jane shrugs. “It won’t harm your body nearly as much as alcohol would, because it stresses your liver. And since you didn’t even smoke it, your lungs will be fine. Marijuana is a depressant like alcohol, so it general slows down the nervous system. The high will last about two or three hours.” When she sees the nervous look on his face, she softens a bit further. "You wanted to give it a try, right?"
Beomgyu slowly nods. He had been willing. It’s just that now that he’s heard the term “high” all his negative associations begin to surface once more. Still, this really wasn’t that bad. For once, his arms weren’t aching, and neither were his legs. Even the bruise on his ribs was conspicuously numb. “I did. I guess I’m just nervous because I’ve never been high before…” he trails off.
Mary Jane hums in understanding, her own edible starting to hit as well. “It’s okay, you’ll be fine. I’ll be right here in case you have a bad reaction or anything. You should expect some dry mouth though. Unfortunate side effect,” she chuckles. Beomgyu nods, cracking a small smile at the sound of her laugh.
“Alright, I guess I can live with that,” he murmurs playfully, relaxing further into the couch cushions. The further he sinks into the plush stuffing, the more weightless he feels. It’s almost akin to floating on clouds, if they were covered in corduroy. A feeling of relaxation and general pleasantness washes over not only his body, but also his mind. His anxieties begin to fade.
Mary Jane tilts her head, gaze narrowing as she gives him a knowing look. He was rather cute as he grew more dazed. She hadn’t known him for long, but this was the first time she’d seen him so peaceful. “So how do you feel? How’s the pain?”
Beomgyu hums happily as he melts into the couch beside her. He hadn’t even consciously thought about the bruising, really. But his pain was definitely alleviated in this moment. Or maybe some of it was there, but the high made him not care, made it not bother him. He wasn’t sure. But before Beomgyu can even realize it, silent tears slip down his cheeks. This is the first time he's been without pain in years.
The second Mary sees his tears, her heart aches, and she quickly touches his shoulder again. “Oh, Beom, are you okay? Why are you crying, Peach?” she coos, a more doting side of her coming out. She was a caretaker, ultimately.
Peach Beomgyu sniffles, wiping his face clumsily with the back of his hand. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, it's just… I can’t remember the last time I felt relief like this,” he confesses in a whimper. Mary’s heart wrenches.
Hesitant, she opens her arms. “Oh, sweetheart… can I hold you?” she whispers, needing permission before she touches him, no matter how much her heart was screaming at her too. Especially with his sensitive skin. There were times when having discipline was important, to not impulsively give into her instincts, and this was one of them.
When Beomgyu wordlessly nods, Mary Jane scoops him up in her arms as delicately as she can, cradling his taller form against hers. She’s soft to the touch, squishy under his weight. After all, all these years of the munchies hadn’t left her particularly skinny.
Beomgyu lets out a shaky sigh as he eases in her grasp, slowly letting go of his muscles. He didn’t want to crush her with his weight, but the high was relaxing his body so much. He felt so heavy, but not in a bad way. Mary Jane quietly coos again, gently stroking his back over his shirt. Beomgyu can’t help but give in completely, melting into a puddle in her hold.
“...thank you,” he whispers meekly, a small, vulnerable voice.
Mary Jane knew in that moment she would protect him to her death.
“Of course, angel. You don’t need to thank me. You deserve to feel comfortable, to exist without pain…” she whispers back.
And just like that, the two remain cuddled on her couch in comfortable silence.
-
It becomes clear rather quickly that Beomgyu needed this kind of support regularly, and there was no reason for Mary to deny him. If she could help it, he would never feel pain again. After he went back home that first time, he’s continued to drop by regularly. Mary Jane offered to bring his supply to his house, but Beomgyu insisted that he needed to get out of the house once a week. Mary Jane didn’t realize what a little safe haven her home had come to feel like to him.
It’s a month later when Mary carefully blows him a glass bong of his own, forging in her garage. The smoke isn't anything out of the ordinary, anyway. She carefully sculpts the molten glass, adding a peach shaped bulb for the water to sit in at the base. Once the glass is cooled enough, Mary Jane can’t help calling him.
“Peach Beomgyu?” Mary Jane chirps into the phone.
“Hm? Mary Jane?” she hears Beomgyu’s voice filtered back through the line.
“Yes! I have a gift for you. Could I come by?” she asks, biting her lip in excitement. She couldn’t wait to show him how to smoke this. Now that he’s opted to smoke so he can get the relief faster, this would be a game changer.
“I was already going to drop by later today to pick up my stash anyway. I’ll be there in a couple hours,” he responds. He can’t help but smile to himself when he hears her eagerness through the phone. She was rather excitable.
“If you’re really sure you’re okay with walking all this way?” she asks with a grimace.
“Mary Jane, it’s like three streets down. I’m not that bruised,” he chuckles. He has sounded so much happier lately, she thinks she could cry. Still, she laughs at his joke.
“Alright, alright, I won’t nag then. Just please be careful!” she acquiesces, before hanging up the phone.
-
As Mary Jane waits for Peach Beomgyu to arrive, she tidies her little cottage. Once she’s done with that, she’s a bit restless. She has to force herself to sit down on the couch to stop pacing willy-nilly.
While she sinks into the sofa, her gaze settles on the two bongs on her coffee table- one purple, like her, the other peach, like Beomgyu. Beomgyu wasn't in pain when he was with Mary Jane. But maybe she could aim higher than that. It didn't take long for Mary Jane to feel a deep connection to this young man. In a lot of ways, he was just like her, and just as lonely. The moment they shared was intimate, and she couldn’t help but feel guilty at how much it meant to her. She wasn’t supposed to be this attached. She was basically just a glorified dealer who deluded herself into thinking she's a nurse. But still, she had held him while his life changed.
At this point, Mary couldn't help but want to please him more. Seeing his smile had become an addiction. Watching him come to stop hating his body was amazing. But maybe seeing him merely comfortable wasn’t enough. She wanted him to enjoy his body as a source of pleasure rather than pain for once. It was a body she loved, because despite its flaws, it was his. And not only that, it was the reason they met in the first place. Maybe, if Beomgyu had been a perfect peach, they wouldn’t have ever crossed paths.
Mary Jane’s thoughts are interrupted when she hears a knock on the door. She quickly shakes the thoughts away, jumping to her feet to answer the door. There he was, looking far more radiant than ever. “Hey, Mary,” Beomgyu says with a smile, stepping inside. Mary Jane can’t help smiling back- it was like his grin was contagious, somehow.
“Hi, Beom! Come on in,” she says, stepping aside to allow him inside. It doesn’t take long for Beomgyu’s eyes to fall onto the bongs on display.
“Oh, Mary Jane! You bought me this?” he asks, eyes lighting up as he takes hold of the peachy bong. He examines it as he sits on the sofa.
Mary Jane feels some shyness come over her as she fidgets with her sleeve. “I, uh, actually made it,” she explains with a soft smile.
At this, Peach Beomgyu looks at her incredulously. “You can do glass work?” he questions, baffled.
Mary Jane can only nod as she awkwardly sits next to him. For some reason, being the center of attention right now made her squirm. It was completely irrational, but after the inappropriate thoughts she had just moments ago, she was scared he would somehow sense it. She was terrified he would find out. “Oh, yeah. It’s something I learned from the bakery twirling sugar. Glass is the same…” she trails off awkwardly, unable to meet his eyes.
Beomgyu assumes she’s just become meek because he’s praising her work, and doesn’t think much else of it. “Well, why don’t we try them out?” he suggests with a smirk.
Mary Jane blinks. She was certainly more than eager to no longer be sober. “Fuck yeah. I’ll show you how to use it,” she says. And with that, she plucks the peach bong from his hands, heading to the kitchen. She pours some fresh water into the chamber before returning with some weed already ground.
“Alright, so it’s kind of like smoking a pipe, but bigger,” she chuckles, welcoming the distraction. She packs the bowl, before turning to give him a clear view of what she’s doing. “When you want to take a rip, you cover this hole-” she explains, gesturing to it with her fingers and demonstrating- “and then you put your lips on the mouth piece and inhale. It’s more intense than smoking a joint, though, so keep that in mind.”
Peach Beomgyu slowly nods as he watches.
“Are you ready?” Mary Jane asks, tilting her head. Peach Beomgyu blushes, but nods, taking the bong into his hands. It really was pretty, he thought. He didn’t want to fuck this up.
Mary Jane smiles as she helps him, guiding his hands to where they belong. “Alright, put your mouth on. You can breathe through your nose,” she chuckles. Once he does, she flicks her lighter on, lighting the bowl. Steamy smoke begins to billow within the bong, and Mary Jane can’t help but grin excitedly. “Okay, now you can suck it up into your mouth and inhale.”
Beomgyu does as instructed, only to hold it shortly before coughing out a laugh. “Damn, that is different,” he chuckles breathlessly.
“You did it!” Mary Jane cheers, beaming. Beomgyu takes another rip, holding it much longer now before he exhales, the smoke billowing from his lips.
“I did,” he drawls with a smirk, passing her the bong. Mary Jane simply blinks for a moment, having imagined using her own. Still, she can’t resist. She swiftly takes the bong herself, taking a long rip before relaxing into the couch with a sigh. “I take it you like these, huh?” Beomgyu murmurs with amusement. Mary Jane only nods.
The two continue like that until the bowl is all gone, melting into puddles on the couch. She begins to repack the bowl, mostly moving out of muscle memory. In her daze, mind left to her own devices, Mary Jane can’t help glancing over at Beomgyu. She doesn’t notice when she freezes in place. Beomgyu really was incredibly handsome. The straight slope of his nose, the way his eyelashes feather his cheeks (especially when he could barely keep his eyes open like now), his soft lips. She doesn’t even realize she’s staring until he calls her out.
“Hey, Mary Jane? Earth to Mary Jane?” he drawls with a smirk, snapping her out of it. Mary Jane hums, perking up at attention. “What are you thinking about? You got all zoned out staring at me.”
Mary Jane feels her cheeks burn, turning to light the bowl. “Snacks. I’m starting to get the munchies,” she jokes, lying with ease. “I like to eat, you know…” she trails off with a playful look, gazing down at her plump body before looking back at him. She then lifts the bong to her lips.
“Nothing wrong with that. Bet if I had a better appetite I’d have a lot more energy,” he chuckles, but Mary Jane doesn’t miss the way his gaze lingers on her figure. She was definitely curvy, large chest and round belly obvious with her form-fitting top. Not that he minded. He loved how plush and squishy she was when she had held him the day they met.
“That’s fair enough. I think the energy might be wasted on a lazy stoner like me, though,” she retorts, smoke let loose with every word. Though there’s something between them now, some elephant in the room. Mary Jane doesn’t know if it’s just the purple haze, or wishful thinking, but the air feels different now that she's noticed his gaze.
“Nothing is wasted on you,” Beomgyu says automatically. Mary Jane’s eyes widen. She quickly searches his face, only for him to blush when he feels her examine him. “What?” he murmurs, much more softly.
“Nothing. That was just really sweet. And I don’t know… something just feels different…” she answers quietly. Mary Jane was a lot of things, but tight-lipped wasn’t really one of them. She hated silence, she hated walking on egg shells, she hated ignoring tension.
“Different how?” Beomgyu asks, a hint of trepidation in his voice.
Mary Jane can’t help but sigh, giving him an earnest look. “You really want to know?” she questions, peering back at him skeptically.
“...Well, now I’m nervous. But yeah,” he answers quietly, honest.
“I find you attractive,” she confesses bluntly, looking back at him with a simple gaze. Beomgyu almost chokes on a breath. For a short moment, he just looks back into her eyes. Maybe Mary was wrong- maybe his gaze didn’t linger. Maybe she imagined it. He doesn’t say anything at first, wordlessly taking his bong back for another rip. Mary Jane watches him in silence as his eyes flutter shut, little clouds of white slipping from his mouth. “...Beomgyu?” Mary Jane murmurs tentatively, tilting her head.
“Hmmm?” Beomgyu hums lazily, eyes slowly blinking open.
“I’m interested in you. I guess I didn’t really ask anything, but I thought you might comment,” she chuckles. Despite the blush on her cheeks and the way her heart fluttered, she still lets out a little joke as if she weren’t shaking in her boots.
“Oh, yeah…” he murmurs, blinking slowly as he gives her a once over. “You’re pretty cute yourself.” Mary Jane can’t really read his expression. After burying all his time in books, he wasn’t very skilled with flirting. Still, she smiles at his compliment.
“Yeah? Just cute?” she murmurs with a smirk, plucking the bong from his hands once more to have some more herself. Once she inhales, she sets the bong down. “How cute?” she teases, leaning in with that same smirk, smoke escaping her nose.
Beomgyu gulps. She looked like a sexy dragon sizing him up. It only made him feel even smaller and more helpless under her gaze. “...uh, very?” he mumbles, almost inaudible. As Mary watches him fluster, she’s only emboldened more. The high alleviates some of her inhibitions, and she’s more playful than usual.
She takes a hit without ever taking her eyes off of him, before leaning closer. “Cute enough to kiss?” she purrs, lips hovering mere inches from his. The scent of the warm smoke brushing against his lips makes his breath hitch. It’s all Beomgyu can do to nod, cheeks nearly flushed scarlet. When his eyes drift down to her lips, snake bites glinting in the light, Mary Jane realizes he likes them. And with that, she captures his lips in hers, exhaling the smoke into his mouth.
She pulls back with a satisfied smirk, reclining against the couch cushions as she keeps her gaze intent on him. He lets out a shaky breath, the smoke slowly slipping past his parted lips. He just looked stunned, as if nothing were going on in that head of his. Frozen in place, he watched her with doe eyes. “Maybe next time we get high, baby,” she begins, looking at him with darker eyes, “I can take care of you. Make you feel good when your body isn’t hurting, hun. But sober you will have to decide on that,” she asserts.
Beomgyu feels a shiver course through him, face burning more than the hot smoke in his lungs. Take care of him? His body? He almost couldn’t wrap his head around what she was suggesting. Still, she was pretty, and it was hard to say no. He quietly nods, peering back at her like a puppy. Shit, he was supposed to smart. This stupid fucking weed was making him dumb. “...okay. I’ll think about it.”
-
It’s not until the following day, when Beomgyu has sobered up, that Mary Jane hears from him. “Hello?”
“Mary Jane?” a voice calls from the other side. She’d recognize that voice anywhere at this point.
“Yeah?”
He’s quiet for a bit, trying to pick the right words. “I… I’m sober now,” ends up being what slips out.
Mary Jane chuckles. “I should hope so,” she jokes smoothly, ignoring the quickening pace of her heart. “What does sober Beomgyu have to say?”
“...I want to try it,” he murmurs shyly, almost a mumble. He doesn’t know why it’s so hard to get the words out, she can’t even see him. But her voice alone was enough to make him weak in the knees.
Mary Jane is silent for a moment. “Are you sure? I don’t want to take advantage of you, baby,” she clarifies, slipping the pet name out to sober him for the first time without thinking.
It makes his heart do a flip. “Yeah, I’m sure. You introduced me to new things before… I trust you,” he says automatically, the words seeming to come back to him. Mary Jane can’t help but smirk to herself. Maybe he really did want this.
“Alright, Beom. Bring an overnight bag and I can take care of you tonight,” she instructs, and Beomgyu instinctively nods. She can’t even see him; what is he doing?
“Okay. Tonight?” he murmurs, voice still a bit shaky. Mary Jane can just imagine him fidgeting with his sleeves on the other side of the phone.
“Tonight.”
-
Beomgyu fusses with his hair as he stands on her doorstep that evening, procrastinating knocking. He felt like this girl might eat him alive. She was ostracized from the village for a reason... but the way she made him feel, as if blending into a blissful harmony with the world around him in a way he never had before, was too tempting to resist. He never felt unsafe around Mary Jane, only nervous about the unknown.
Finally, he musters up the courage to knock.
"Beom!" Mary Jane beams, eyes lit up with excitement as she throws open the door. "You came."
"Mary Jane," he mirrors with a smile, "I did." He follows her into the cottage, putting his bag down by the couch.
"So, have you eaten dinner already, hun?" Mary drawls, already halfway to the kitchen.
"Ah! No, not yet..." he explains sheepishly, gently scratching the side of his neck.
Mary Jane smirks. "Well, lucky for you, I have prepared a fabulous meal," she declares playfully, mimicking a posh accent. It isn't even that funny on its own, but something about Mary's unapologetic corniness was endearing. Beomgyu can't help letting a chuckle slip.
"Well, I'd be honored," he responds softly, playing along. He follows Mary Jane to the kitchen, helping bring the dishes and silverware to the table. "You didn't cook weed in any of this, did you?"
Mary Jane laughs. "No, no, that's for dessert," she jokes. She carefully carries her pot of spaghetti to the table, oven mitts shielding her hands.
"More of your infamous brownies? I can't believe you ever gave one of those to Blueberry Kai," he teases, setting their places. Mary Jane scoffs, jaw dropping in a scandalized smile as she takes her spot opposite him.
"I didn't realize that if I don't wear gloves, everything I bake gets contaminated with weed! It wasn't on purpose!" she insists, placing her oven mitts aside.
"Likely story," Beomgyu murmurs with a smirk, eyeing her skeptically. "Are you sure you didn't just want to get someone else hooked so you can have stoner friends?"
Mary Jane's jaw drops into that baffled grin again, a sputtering sound of disbelief slipping past her lips. "You're a stoner too, now! I hope you remember that!" she retorts.
"Yeah, and it's all because you groomed me to be," he teases again, now just happy to push her buttons. Mary Jane just scoffs, rising from her seat to serve them both a good amount of spaghetti.
"Don't tempt me. If you keep treating me like a criminal, I might as well have the fun of enjoying the crime," she smirks, sitting back down with a satisfied grin and a glimmer in her eye. Suddenly, Beomgyu felt a shiver go down his spine.
"F-fine..." he stutters, a bit thrown by her flirty look. He quickly shovels some spaghetti in his mouth, eyes settled on his plate rather than her.
"You can dish it but you can't take it, huh?" Mary giggles, taking a bite of her own. Beomgyu looks back at her with a slight blush, shaking his head.
The two continue to eat their respective meals in silence for a bit, until Mary Jane remembers their earlier conversation. "Hey, Beomgyu," she whispers, quieter than before.
He hums, lifting his head to look back at her with clueless eyes.
"You said I could take care of you tonight. You know what I meant, right?" she asks, looking back at him plainly. "I meant sex."
Beomgyu sputters again, nearly choking on the bit of spaghetti still in his mouth. He's certain that the tips of his ears are glowing red now. He grimaces with his lips in a tight line, nodding as a strangled "mhm" sounds from his throat.
Mary Jane can't help but chuckle at his reaction. "Sorry, I just wanted to make sure... You were high when I suggested it," she jokes, shrugging. She takes her plate then, standing and carrying it off to the sink.
Beomgyu scarfs down the rest of his meal before following her meekly, trying his best to ignore his burning face. "Thank you," Mary Jane smiles, carefully taking his plate to wash off alongside her own.
"I should thank you... You're the one who made me dinner," he murmurs softly, reaching over to try and take the sponge. Mary Jane tsks, pushing him aside with her shoulder.
"You're a guest. It's two plates and a pot, I can manage," she reassures with a chuckle, before gesturing with a flick of her head. "Go ahead and have a brownie. Treat time," she smirks.
Peach Beomgyu certainly won't turn down an intoxicating treat. He takes one of the brownies sitting on the counter, letting out a happy sigh after his first bite. It doesn't take long for Mary Jane to finish up the dishes and have one as well.
-
"Let's go get ready for bed," she suggests, giving Beomgyu a questioning look to which he simply nods.
Peach Beomgyu grabs his cute duffel bag, peachy-pink like everything else he owns, and follows Mary Jane down the hall to her room. "Ah, where's your bathroom..?" Beomgyu asks meekly.
"Right here, first door on the left," she explains with a soft smile. Beomgyu nods gratefully, slipping inside with his things.
Mary Jane makes it the rest of the way to her room, butterflies settling in her chest. Beomgyu brought his bag into the bathroom with him, so he must be getting ready. He'd probably be gone long enough for her to get changed into pajamas of her own.
Mary Jane grabs a sheer purple nightie, lacy trim on the edges. In reality, she never wears cute shit like this to bed- who did? But Beomgyu didn't have to know that she normally slept in a huge tee and ratty old sweatpants. Those weren't so sexy. Tonight, she'd look at least a little alluring. Hopefully.
Meanwhile, Beomgyu is having his own wardrobe doubts in the bathroom. He was in completely regular pajamas- a white tank top and plaid pajama bottoms. But still, he couldn't help his shyness. Beomgyu nearly always wore long sleeves and covered as much skin as possible for fear of his bruises attracting unwanted attention. As he looks himself in the mirror, so many conflicting feelings come bubbling to the surface of his gut. He gulps, steeling himself to exit the bathroom.
When Mary Jane hears the door open, she looks up with excitement, only to be met with the vulnerable look in Beomgyu's eyes. She can hardly take it- it's like her heart is clenched in his fist. She immediately coos. "Oh, Beom, come here," she whispers, perched atop her bed.
Beomgyu blushes as he sees her body veiled in lilac, plump and round. He nods, hesitating for a moment before closing the distance to join her. It doesn't take any time at all for Mary Jane to open her arms to him, pulling him up against her.
Beomgyu lets out a shaky breath. "Sorry, I just... don't let people see the bruises much," he confesses in a whisper. Mary Jane nods, gently petting his hair as he settles in her hold.
"You're very handsome. I'm pretty lucky to have the viewing pleasure," she reassures in a playful whisper. Beomgyu can't help but chuckle at her flirty words.
"Leave it to you to hit on me at such a moment," he snarks. Still, it's a bit hard to keep his head straight at this point. The brownie is starting to kick in, blood abuzz. He instinctively nuzzles his face into her shoulder as he leans against her, the sensation of her silky skin against his fuzzy cheek pleasant. Her large breasts are nearly an inch from his face, and he's trying really hard to ignore that fact and not freak out.
Mary Jane giggles. "Maybe if you saw yourself the way I do, you'd understand how hard it is to keep my mouth shut," she whispers, gently stroking his back. She smiles down at him, his pretty brown eyes magnetic. "But I suppose I could show you..?" she suggests softly.
Peach Beomgyu blushes at her cheeky suggestion, gulping once more. He looks up at her with a curious gaze, head still resting atop her shoulder. "Show me?" he repeats under his breath.
Mary Jane nods, smiling sweetly despite the darker spark in her eyes. "Did the edible hit, baby? How do you feel?" she whispers, glancing down to his bruised arm. She gently caresses the spot, carefully gauging his reaction. "Does it hurt?"
Beomgyu shakes his head, sucking in a shaky breath. "No... not sore," he whispers.
That's all Mary Jane needs to hear, swiftly lowering him onto his back so he's reclining atop her pillows. Beomgyu's breath hitches as he's nearly manhandled by the smaller woman, though she's probably twice his weight. Maybe she's really just shorter.
Mary Jane giggles when as she notices his stunned reaction. "Relax, baby. Just gonna make you feel good," she murmurs comfortingly, moving in to lay beside him. Beomgyu gulps again, but nods.
Once he's relaxed a bit more, Mary Jane leans in to begin trailing kisses down his jaw. She hums, the soft scent of peaches surrounding her as she drags her lips over his skin. "You're much sweeter than me," she whispers, lips curled up in a grin as her path leads her to his sensitive neck. His peach fuzz stands at end, a shaky gasp escaping his throat.
"Mary Jane..." he whispers, hands instinctively lifting up to hold onto her by his side. She doesn't let up, continuing to trail gentle, loving kisses along his flesh.
She can't help but giggle at his half-hearted protest. "What? It's true! Peaches smell better than pot," she teases, kissing her way down to the juncture of his neck and shoulder.
Beomgyu can only groan, too weak to protest in his dazed state. The combination of the high dizzying his mind and the overwhelming sensations of her playing with some of the most sensitive spots on his body is simply too much to bear.
Mary Jane hums in response, making her way down his shoulder. Beomgyu is hardly paying attention to what she's doing, just along for the ride. Mary Jane coats him in kisses, making her way from one bruise to the next, gently worshiping his marred skin. "You're gorgeous," she whispers sweet praises, taking her time to appreciate every piece of him. The high heightens every sensation, each touch all Beomgyu can comprehend in his daze.
By the time she reaches his hand, trailing kisses over his knuckles one by one, Beomgyu can't help but whimper. No one has ever spoiled him with this much attention before.
Mary Jane smiles, peering back at his face with loving eyes. "What is it, baby? Am I going too slow?" she whispers, unabashed affection in her eyes. It makes his heart skip a beat as he swallows.
"N-no... I just... I didn't think you'd be so sweet..." he mumbles, shyly averting his gaze. Mary Jane was normally so playful and cheeky, and here she was doting on him like he were the most precious man in the world.
Mary Jane can't help but laugh at his words. "I can be mean?" she whispers with a teasing look, to which Beomgyu's eyes widen. He frantically shakes his head. "That's what I thought," she finishes with a smirk.
Once she finishes pressing little pecks to the tips of each of his fingers, she swiftly moves to straddle his lap. "No pain?" she whispers, to which he nods. She carefully rests his arm on the bed once more before lifting its opposite, starting from the tips of his fingers to kiss her way back up his body. Beomgyu shivers as her soft lips trace his body, a shaky breath escaping him. Mary Jane hums with pleasure while mapping his body.
Eventually Mary Jane has made it all the way back to his neck. She presses her lips beneath his jaw, caressing his skin lovingly. Beomgyu sighs, eyes fluttering open to give her a pleading look. Mary Jane nearly freezes when she sees it. Still, she's determined to do this properly. She kisses her way along his jaw and cheek to complete her path before finally giving him what he wants.
Mary Jane captures his lips in hers, the sudden action after all the anticipation stunning Beomgyu for a moment. It takes a second for his dazed mind to catch up to whats happening, to which he finally returns her kiss, arms slipping up around her waist. Mary Jane can't help but sigh against his lips, relaxing into his arms.
Beomgyu feels his stomach do a little flip when she hears her breathy sigh. The sound was so intimate, soft, vulnerable. He instinctively kisses her with greater need, and it doesn't take long for Mary Jane to catch on and part her lips. "Damn, baby," she purrs between kisses, softly licking at his bottom lip. Beomgyu can only groan in response.
The sound makes Mary Jane's eyes darken as a possessive sort of hunger flares up inside her. Fuck, his voice sounded hot. Once allowed entrance to his mouth, her tongue curls around his. She's greedy for dominance, and Beomgyu doesn't seem to care, just soaking it all up. At the feeling of her tongue dancing with his, Beomgyu lets out moan, slowly losing his inhibitions as the weed and lust cloud his mind.
If Mary Jane wasn't wet before, she certainly was now. She groans, quickly breaking their kiss to hastily undress him. "Let me take this off?" she whispers, breath heavy as she pulls back to grab the hem of his tank top. Beomgyu gulps, simply nodding with red cheeks and parted lips.
Mary Jane wants to rip the damned garment off, but she is too smart for that. She couldn't hurt Beomgyu. So she instead carefully removes it from his body, helping him shimmy out of it with her jaw set. It was taking all her self control not to pounce on him completely, and she wondered if he knew it. Once he's left bare, tender chest and bruised side visible, Mary Jane can't help but curse. "Fuck, you're so beautiful," she sighs, gently kissing each newly exposed bruise.
Beomgyu blushes as he opens his mouth to speak, only to gasp when she licks a stripe up his chest. It was much lewder than the delicate kisses of before, and he shudders. "Oh, Jesus, Mary Jane," he pleads softly, holding her a bit tighter. Mary Jane feels his cock twitch beneath her, and it only spurs her on further.
At this point, Mary Jane's mind is blank, simply indulging in her impulses. She licks and sucks at his skin, leaving little hickeys to bloom across his chest. He can feel the vibrations of her hums through his skin. At a particularly harsh suck, Beomgyu whimpers, hips stuttering beneath her. "Fuck, baby, you taste like heaven," she whispers against his skin, finally climbing off his lap to begin her descent.
It takes all of Beomgyu's self control not to squirm as her searing hot lips trail down his abdomen. At this point he's perpetually breathless, panting beneath her touch. "Mary Jane, please..." he begs softly, the lack of friction where he needs it beginning to ache.
"Relax baby, I've got you," she whispers, finally making her way down to his waistband. "May I?" she asks, meeting his eyes. When he nods clumsily, she helps him kick his pants and boxers right off, hard dick slapping his stomach. Her mouth is already watering at the sight.
"Fuck, look at this cute cock," she purrs, carefully taking him into her hand. Pretty pink tip and swollen with need, she wants to taste him right there. So she does.
Beomgyu lets out a soft cry when Mary Jane licks his tip, quickly grabbing onto her hair. "Mary!"
Mary Jane can't help but giggle as he squirms beneath her. "Sorry, baby, you taste like peaches and cream," she whispers, pressing an affectionate peck to his tip before releasing him. She moves to straddle his hips once more, hovering over his lap. "Don't want you to hate this wonderful body of yours anymore," she sighs, leaning in to press a kiss to his forehead.
Beomgyu doesn't know whether to laugh or cry when she ambushes him with such sweet words after saying something so filthy. His hands settle on her hips as he peers back up at her with blown-out eyes. "I... I won't..." he whispers, gulping.
Mary Jane smiles, nodding. After a moment, she lifts herself up a bit, slipping off her panties. Beomgyu gulps. "Mary Jane... you're sure?" he whispers, searching her eyes. Mary Jane's heart immediately melts. She was the one taking him, and he was still trying to make sure.
"More certain than I've ever been," she whispers, leaning in to steal a quick kiss. "Want to milk that pretty cock of yours, baby," she purrs against his lips, explicit words in contrast of her sickeningly sweet tone. All Beomgyu can do is gulp and whimper while he feels his cock throb. "Are you sure?"
Peach Beomgyu nods, face flushed scarlet. "Yeah," he whispers. "Mary Jane, I want you," he confesses for the first time.
Mary Jane can't help but smirk, his words going straight to her ego. She reaches down to align him with her dripping entrance, eyes locked with his. "Fill me up, baby," she whispers with a lopsided grin, before finally taking him in. Her walls are snug around him as she bottoms out, lower lip drawn between her teeth. Beomgyu lets out a deep moan, head fallen back against the pillows as he squeezes his eyes shut. It takes all his self control not to buck his hips. "Fuck, you fill me up so good."
"Please move," Beomgyu whimpers, fingers digging into her hips as he struggles to stay still. Mary Jane can't help but giggle as she looks down at him. She had this effect on him? It was too good to be true. Experimentally, she softly rolls her hips, gaze intent on his face as she toys with him. Beomgyu's hips stutter in response as he whimpers, hazy eyes slowly fluttering open to give her a pleading look.
Those puppy eyes were her weakness.
"Don't worry baby, I've got you," she coos, resting her hands on his shoulders to brace herself before she rides him. Her purple nightie sways with her movements, though the sheer material leaves nothing to the imagination. Her large breasts bounce as she finds a rhythm, walls fluttering around him. At this point, he's crossfaded- high and pussy-drunk.
Wanton, unrestricted moans fill the cottage as the two chase their high. Beomgyu gradually begins to meet her movements, hitting Mary Jane at a new angle that makes her see stars. "Fuck!" she gasps, walls clamping down around him. The bed creaks with each move of their joined hips.
"Mary Jane, I'm-" Beomgyu starts, but she doesn't need to hear a syllable more before she interrupts.
"Cum, baby, fill me up," she commands, voice stern and commanding despite being strained from breathlessness. Beomgyu whimpers, nearly there.
Determined to take him over the threshold, Mary Jane leans in, capturing his lips in hers. She sucks on his tongue, swallowing his moans as their movements reach a crescendo. It doesn't take more than a couple more thrusts for Beomgyu to burst.
A flood of warmth fills Mary Jane and she shudders, the sensation of his release bringing her ecstasy. But even more than that, it's the whine that escapes Beomgyu with his release that breaks her. With a deep guttural moan from within her chest Mary Jane reaches her peak, walls pulsing and fluttering around Beomgyu's sensitive cock. The two ride out their overlapping highs, hips clumsy. Their foreheads fall together as they part for air, equally panting.
Waves of euphoria pass through them both before the exertion catches up to them. Mary Jane slumps atop Beomgyu with a shudder, slowly catching her breath.
"Holy shit," Beomgyu whispers. Mary Jane opens her eyes just to see his beautiful post-orgasm glow, fucked-out expression on his face. She can't help but grin.
"You look so fucking delicious," she whispers, voice a little hoarse from their previous activity.
Beomgyu would blush at the praise if he weren't already beet red. "So do you," he whispers.
Mary Jane slowly sits up again, hissing as she climbs off his lap. The emptiness is immediately upsetting, but she can't keep him forever. Slowly she slips her hand beneath her dress, fingers swiping up some of his peachy release. She licks her fingers clean with a hum of satisfaction, relaxing atop his lap.
Beomgyu groans at the sight. She had no shame.
-
authors note: idk how did i do guys? should i never write smut again? did you jerk off to this? did any of my shitty jokes land? happy new year. if i find any mistakes or typos i might edit the post. gonna go get high now
#tomorrow x together#txt#txt smut#txt hard hours#txt x reader#txt hard thoughts#beomgyu smut#choi beomgyu#beomgyu x reader
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JEALOUSLY PART 2. !
warnings : ( teasing )
part two of jealously w a little bit of rafe teasing you c: ! also shout out to @angzls cus they wanted a part 2 c;
you couldn't say you were over rafe but since he was involved with sofia, you had to try to accept it. yeah of course jealously hit you still after always seeing them together but what can you do. oh wait, you can make him jealous. you knew rafe couldn't control himself everytime he seen you with some random guy at that.
"isn't rafe gonna start something?"
"isn't that the point she's trying to make?"
"i just need someone good looking, or like someone he hates."
"jj!" you and the girls said that the same time. you cheered in excitement. "will jj agree though?" you bit the inside of ur cheek. "he owes me one so he has to." you unlocked your phone and texted jj making sure the plan was in motion.
"what am i doing again?" jj questioned as you guys pulled up to the house party. "just grab me or hold me. even kiss me if it makes him that mad." you fixed your hair. jj was kinda excited to see rafes expressions. "is this what rich feels like?" you laughed at the comment. "you literally live with me. you know what rich feels like."
"okay ready?"
jj held your waist, walking inside with you. many whispers and looks coming from everywhere. you still smiled and held your head up high. you knew if everyone was talking about it, rafe would be in flames.
"did you see them come in together?" ruthie looking around for you guys again. "who?" sofia looking around as well. "y/n and jj." rafes head snapped. "since when?" topper questioning. "i don't know. everyone is saying right now."
rafe spots you from across the room. he knew you were bound to come but he didn't know you would bring someone. especially jj. "at least she's having fun." sofia smiling. poor sofia, having no idea why you even came to this party.
"kiss me." you sensed rafe staring, this was the plan now. jj grabbing your body towards him and you leaned in, wrapping your arms around him. "is he still looking?"
rafes eyes went from normal to low and angry. "you okay?" sofia asked him. "yeah, i'll be right back." he chugged the rest of his beer and walked off. "stay here, he is gonna follow me right now." jj nodding and you walking off. this was your other plan, you just didn't know how it would play out.
"out now." rafe snapped his fingers to the people who were in the bathroom. "in here now." you smiled, following his directions. "jj now? really." rafe leaned against the sink. "problem?" you snapped. "fucking jj?"
"aren't you with sofia? isn't that her name?"
"don't play fucking dumb y/n."
"i'm not."
"you know what youre doing."
"it's working though isn't it." you slightly laughed.
"you better be done with him by tonight." he demanded. also just like you, he never asked— he would tell you to do so. "and if i don't?" you kissed your teeth. "don't fuck with me." he paused. "you know damn well what i would do." you walked closer to him. "this is the rafe i know. i wonder if sofia knows about him, hm?." you lifted up his chin.
rafe swatting your hand, grabbing you and putting you on the counter sink. "what do you want from me y/n. we both know we are toxic for each other. yet, you keep coming back. why is that? hm? do you miss me? do you miss me in you?" you stayed quiet.
"why quiet now? so it is that? you miss me?" he smirked putting his hand under your dress. you couldn't lie, you did miss him. you missed everything about him. but he was also right, the toxicity was eating you guys up. "tell me y/n— im waiting." he looked into your eyes. his hands leading up to your silk underwear.
"rafe." you whispered. this wasn't the plan you were going for but you didn't mind it. "hm?" he moved your underwear to the side. circling around your clit. "tell me, you want me." fuck y/n, what happened to sticking to the plan. "i'm waiting princess."
"you're done with jj, tonight. if i catch you with someone else or him again i swear your life and theirs will never be the same. trust me princess, you'll be begging for your normal life before me." rafe left the bathroom causing you to jump off the counter fixing yourself. your plan was literally fucked from the moment you walked in the party with jj but hey, at least you found out he still gets jealous.
sccrim — all rights reserved. please do not modify, repost , translate , or plagiarise my content.
#sccrim#sccrimsmasterlist#toxic rafe cameron#rafe cameron#rafe obx#rafe cameron drabble#rafe x reader#rafe outer banks#rafe x you#rafe x y/n#obx x reader#obx#rafe imagine
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(Alr gang so I technically use a situation/au I put my own mc in for this post, and is written in a way that my mc would be… however I WONT be using she/they for this, I will be using the usual they/them so you guys can enjoy this crappy angsty au in the pov of your mc as well)
can I share a concept/au I have for OM with you guys??? Cause I think it’s pretty cool if I say so myself,
hear me out..(and also sorry if this is already a concept, if it is I just haven’t seen it before lolol) a human becoming “infested” with sin when in the devildom.
now lemme explain:
basically, if a human is in the devildom for a long period of time, a particular sin will begin to fester and leach onto the human. It picks out whatever the human is feeling the strongest, and feeds into that. Kinda turning them into living embodiments of the sin.
now for the example of this idea I shall be using the au of my mc experiencing this, I will also be using the headcanon that devildom food isn’t very appealing to look at,(yes ik it just looks AMAZING in game- but I ADORE the hc of the food actually looking horrifying, and it also adds to the idea I’m about to type so I will be using it)
[[TW for those who may need it: this will involve descriptions of food, food avoidance, borderline ED behavior, attempt of consumption of other people/living creatures, neck injury, and vomit/throwing up, if you are sensitive to any of this PLEASE do not continue further. This WILL NOT be my usual silly or quirky post. ]]
(no it is not as horrible as I’m making it out to be in the TW, however I’d rather you guys assume the worst going in and then be relieved going out.)
Since mc had gotten to the devildom, they… haven’t really been eating much. its not out of rebellion or disrespect as luci claims it to be, but really its out of pickiness… back home they weren’t much of a picky eater, so they never really had this issue before! But all of the food was either an unnatural color, had a horrifying name, had a billion eyes and legs, or was still moving and squirming around! But- they didn’t wanna be rude and ask for something else when they’re only a guest, so they just.. eat what looks like wouldn’t eat them back and try to suck it up.
they’re honestly getting by on school lunches really, there was more options there, but the only thing they could even look at was cut fruit and different breads, so that’s what they ate. They filled up their plate with fruits and breads and just prayed that whatever meat or protein that was made for dinner was something they could stomach eating…
for days and weeks they were always hungry, it gnawed at them from the inside out, it was hard to focus on school, and despite being a fantastic student in the human realm they were pretty average at RAD. Because sitting in class or at the HOL or ANYWHERE AT ALL, all they could focus on was the growing pit in their stomach. as the school year progresses the brothers slowly begin to notice. Maybe mams tries to encourage them to try some ramen he got at the store, or levi offers different kinds of chips, which of course they accept and eat because it’s the closest thing to normal that they have access to. the most concerned out of everyone however, is Beel. He of course joins in on offering mc food and making sure they’re able to eat something, but as time passes he starts to notice something in them. At first he can’t describe it, but they seem.. off.
But one day mc just, suddenly seems to no longer have this worry about what they’re eating- in fact, they’ll eat just about anything! The first time they manage to completely finish a meal the brothers are of course ecstatic, and mc attempts to also be happy about it but they end up rushing off to vomit everything up in the restroom. They hadn’t eaten so much in so long, that when they had finished their plate it was just too much food for their body to handle. Along with that mc just couldn’t ignore the awful bluish hue the food was. Which all together made their stomach churn. But- after that, despite the brothers concerns, they’re almost right back in the kitchen to eat something else.
and this is how it goes for a while, mc ignoring the brothers concerns about their eating habits, and mc slowly beginning to just- eat and eat and eat. But of course their body just can’t handle the rate in which food is coming so they keep throwing up but they just can’t seem to stop. They’re just so so hungry. And they just can’t believe they went this long without something filling their stomach. Eventually they become nearly animalistic at dinner, often forgetting to use utensils and nearly biting anyone who appeared to be reaching for their plate. Really it felt like another Beel had moved in. And the brothers tried to joke about it, maybe attempting to hide their concern, but they could hardly ignore how concerning this behavior is.
One day is particularly horrible for Mc. They just can’t seem to eat enough. They had about four servings at breakfast and still felt painfully empty. They could hardly manage. Snacking in between classes hardly helped, and they often caught themselves spacing out at the people around them. it first started with mammon. Since he was always around they began to notice how… wonderful he smelled. Despite the fact that he was awfully scrawny his stomach and thighs had plenty of meat on them.. no what were they thinking? That’s totally insane!? Why would they even have these thoughts in the first place- but after their sudden intrusive thoughts, they started to scope out everyone they saw. Beel had a lot of muscle and would be hard to get their teeth through.. though a good steak knife would fix that. Besides his stomach area had plenty of amazing tender flabby flesh to work with. Levi had little to no muscle at all. And with how tall he was there was plenty of fat, just more evenly spaced out.
They couldn’t help but drool even at the sight of most of the brothers. Staring at them like they were roasted pigs.
then it finally happened.
a loud high pitched scream rang through the halls of RAD. Students rushing towards and away from the source flooded the halls as they either hid in classrooms or quickly exited them to see what was happening. Of course mammon and luci were the first two there, mammon having just been a classroom away and luci was simply just automatically rushing to break up whatever was happening. And there they were. mc had a student pinned to the ground with their jaw clamped tightly around their neck. Despite the fact that their human teeth were supposed to be nowhere near strong enough to break demon skin- they managed to use enough strength to dig straight in. They jerked their head around like an animal, attempting to rip the chunk of flesh out as the students nails desperately clawed and dug at mc’s shoulders and arms in an attempt to pry them off. quickly the two brothers run over and manage to get mc away from the student, blood quickly splatters onto the ground from both the student and mc, of course mostly from the student, thought the amount that mc spits out of their mouth was enough to make people believe they were secretly vampiric.
the brothers drag mc home and quarantine them in their room, only really allowing Beel inside since he 1: understood this level of hunger, and 2: could very well manage to restrain Mc if they got violent again. It was hard to be upset at them, they were crying and guilt ridden, constantly spewing out that they “didn’t know why they did it- they were just hungry and they couldn’t stop themselves- they don’t know what’s wrong with them-“ so, the brothers didn’t know what else to do rather then keep them home while solutions were being searched for.
thankfully, since the cast of OM is only stupid half of the time, they quickly managed to figure out what is happening and how to solve it. However it was hardly fast enough to avoid poor Beel from becoming covered in bite and claw marks from Mc attempting to eat him whenever he wasn’t looking, though thankfully, since he is a creature full of love, he managed to keep his cool and clam Mc down enough to eat something that isn’t him.
in the end, the brothers(and diavolo&barabtos) make sure that mc gets food that they can stomach, the student they had attacked thankfully made a full recovery(due to being a demon the injury wasn’t too fatal), and yippie!! Yahoo!!! Happy ending and more stuff for luci to loose sleep over!!!!
#obey me#obey me mc#obey me mammon#obey me asmodeus#obey me lucifer#obey me leviathan#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#obey me satan#obey me one master to rule them all#obey me angst fic#obey me au#obey me angst??#Yeah sure it’s angst#Maybe a bit of gore?
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The Best Ships of 2024
If i’m anything I am a lover of love. I pretty much only engage stories with some kind of sapphic love element with some rare exceptions for strong ships I've seen, particular cool women with no love interest, or my partners wanting me to check something out. So as always strap in for a collection of sapphics at the very top tier of great to imagine having little dates and shit because this year was a really packed year for amazing women I wanted to to kiss each other.
The list is not just new ships from 2024 media but any ship that I just happened to get into this year or had something to reinforce it in my life. If you like you can see last years list https://www.tumblr.com/alexissara/739778084236050433/top-10-ships-of-2023?source=share and if you enjoy my little top 10 lists and want to see the lesbians I make ahead of everyone else go to my patreon https://www.patreon.com/AlexisSara.
10. Falin Touden and Marcille Donato [Delicious In Dungeon]
One of the most canon non canon ships of all time. One can hope that the anime rectifies the manga and has these two kiss in the end. This ship was one of the biggest ships of the year and while I am a contrarian and a hipster I am not immune, I really love these two, their sweet, cute and have a really strong dynamic and a sense that they truly love each other and would do anything for each other as well as a strong sense of attraction to one another. These pretty white women simply are delightful and worth every bit of hype and love they got this year.
9. Velvet Crowe and Magilou [Tales Of]
I hated the of Tales Of Berseria but I love both these characters so much, they are so much fun and their like just a perfect dynamic. The extra goth edgy girl who eats people with her demon hand and the silly traitor clown girl mage who is always just treating life like it’s a game make for this really fun dynamic. Women deserve edgy OCs and they deserve those Edgy OCs to kiss a cute little silly lil clown girl. I just don’t know what else to say, their just kinda perfect together you know?
8. Ayaka X Hiriko [Ayaka is In Love With Hiriko]
So this book and show is called Ayaka is in Love With Hiriko so you know it’s about these two doing a romance but the thing is that Hiriko is a stupid ass loser boss and Ayaka has to put her whole pussy into getting this girl to fuck her. I don’t totally love their we need to be in the closet at work kinda deal I think it’s weak to a lot of the other themes in the story but Ayaka and Hiriko genuinely are loaded with charisma and are actual lesbians textually in the narrative which is just rare even for stories with explicit sapphic relationships it’s not normally said out loud as a word and so Idk these two are special to me and their really funny too.
7. Olive and Callie [My Dragon GF]
This is a ship that could be on a list every year really, since My Dragon Girlfriend debuted Olive it’s been a top tier ship but this years My Dragon Girlfriend gave us a very delicious date chunk of time focused on Callie and Olive doing a date and it was such a fucking cute date so here they are. Trans girl vampire and her cat girl GF it’s just perfect, I don’t know what to say, shy dorky trans girl vampire with her confident cat girl GF and the little ways they interact and feel the life and stuff. I just love them. Every time Courtney puts up little a little smut comic of them or draws them or whatever I am excited, I want these two girls to just ya know be married or whatever, they are the stars of the show to me.
6. Tama X Koko [Sword Of The Necromancer]
I fucking love these two so fucking much. There is just nothing that beats a woman going to the depths of impossibility to revive the woman she loves no matter the cost, the toll of the consequences, dammit this woman is going to live, that’s not how her story ends and she will save her. That energy, that drive to just say “A World Without Her Isn’t A World Worth Saving” that is the kind of energy that immortalizes a piece of art to me and we see that energy from Tama but then we see Koko’s perspective and she has that same energy. Both of them see each other as this important part of the world, something worth giving up everything for and it’s so special with one of the worlds most amazing payoffs in a game.
5. Emilia and Valentine [Sunset Phoenix]
Oh to be a magical mob boss with a little butch spy in your pocket who maybe also wants to betray you. These two are a very complicated relationship but ultimately bail each other out of awful situations again and again and again. These two are not dead yet but every piece of the world wants to fucking rip these two to shreads and it’s amazing how they endure everything going on in the plot and how their dynamic shifts over the time of the story. I can’t wait till the second arc of this story and to see if these two get together or not but their gay and their great and it’s so action packed and fucking great.
4. Honey Trap and Rapid Rabbit [Superwomen In Love]
I finally finished Superwomen in love this year after years of following the series from it’s early scanslations to now and it was even better than I would have expected. These two girls are utterly perfect for each other, their happy ending with explicit love confessions and them raising a kid together is just super sweet and I mean when girls fuse together it’s always a top tier ship. The Kamen Rider fun is great even for me who doesn’t do a Kamen Rider and has no interest in it. Their dates are fun, their desire for each other is fun, their little struggles don’t feel based on just misunderstanding and I really enjoyed the little short body swap story they added too. Their just so damn cute and I love them and I wish there was more of them to enjoy.
3. Harlivy [The Strange Case of Harleen and Harley Quinn]
Okay, so I didn’t want to repeat any ships this year but there was a new version of Harley and Ivy in the utterly brilliant The Strange Case Of Harleen and Harley Quinn and what am I supposed to do when a brand new version with new origin stories in a YA setting that still lets the characters be radical and cool criminals and be in love since they were teens but gives them a little bit of mess despite a younger audience comes out! Harleen and Harley both have great dynamics with Ivy, it’s nice to see the different ways they try and support her and also each other. Unlike a classic Dr. Jacklet and Mr. Hyde story the pair of them aren’t really portrayed as “good and bad” side of someone or a “Civilized and wild” side but instead just like alters that live together in the same mind and body. They are different people that have different skills although they draw from similar experiences. Pamala is already in love with Harleen at the start of the story but she falls for Harley right away too even before she realizes they are separate people. These two are amazing criminal GFs and I love them in every universe basically.
2. Syliva’s Sapphic Polycule [Potionomics]
Potionomics put out their Masterworks Edition update and it made it where Sylvia could romance every single character in the game at once if she wanted and therefore making this one of the few games in the world with actual sapphic polyamory possible. While you don’t get to talk about dating other people with each other it’s still a cut above so many other games that simply don’t let you date other women once you’ve locked in. Syliva’s got chemistry even with the guys in the game but obviously if your a lesbian like me your probably gonna just have her date all the girls and their all fucking fantastic relationships. Sylvia’s gonna keep herself busy between running her shop and kissing all the girls she is dating but she deserves the fun and joy they all bring into her life. All of their little romantic arcs are great and I love how the relationships feel very two sided where you grow through mechanics cuz your relationship with them and they grow in the arc not just being in a relationship with you but growing to some new place in their life.
1. Sevika X Jinx [Arcane]
Sevika is one of my favorite characters of the year and Jinx is one of my favorite characters just in general. While neither will show up on my best characters list it’s because I didn’t love Arcane Season 2 so I just felt weird putting them there when I have up and down feelings on how they were handled yet, I can’t deny they are here on my top ship and a lot of that is carried by how cool they are. The way Jinx prioritizes getting Sevika her new arm she made for her over saving her own dead brother’s goggles, the way Sevika is willing to risk her life to fight enforcers so that Jinx can finish what she wants, the way Sevika believes in Jinx and wants to see her do things in the world, the way Jinx trusts Sevika without needing to say anything to her, these two are just so good and it really is a relationship between equals which shifts Sevila from her normal dynamic of being under someone. Every scene these two were in together was just a delight, an utter tree and honestly, they wree the heart of this season to me that felt neglected by needing to big up another region of the worlds lore and set up these magic giant stakes that just weren’t needed. Long live Zaun, via la revolution, the people deserve more than one seat at the table.
#2024#Arcane#Sevika#Jinx#farcille#falin touden#marcille donato#delcious in dungeon#harley x ivy#harley quinn#poison ivy#harlivy#The Strange Case of Harleen and Harley#potionomics#Superwomen In Love#Honey Trap and Rapid Rabbit#Sunset Phoenix#Emilia and Valentine#My Dragon Girlfriend#Olive and Callie#Ayaka is In Love With Hiriko#Tales Of Berseria#Velvet/Magilou#Roxanne#Silva#Xid#Saffron#Mint#Top 10#Best of 2024
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Op, if may I also add on the oh so many possibilities of the group ™️ encountering an actual Prophet
Instead of a song fic, imagine if you will:
(This will be set after Cale slayed the White Star)
As Cale learnt previously, the book he once read doesn't apply anymore. So thus when he learned that there's a self-proclaimed prophet somewhere in the Eastern parts, he was surprised but did not believe it at first. He's curious, and as they say the Curiosity killed the cat but knowledge brought it back. (And the children are curious and excited about potentially meeting a person who can see into the future, Sue him for giving into their cuteness)
If this so called prophet actually existed, why did they come out now? Of all times? Where were they when White Star and Arm were going around and causing chaos? Questions for later... Nevertheless, this isn't a big matter, Cale brought the only Eruhaben, Raon, Ron, and Choi Han with him (as it could easily turn to be some random person just playing with magic, they didn't expect to actually meet someone with the magic of foresight). (don't ask me why I chose them, I got no clue, they're the first ones that came to my mind)
You can imagine the setting however you want, I'm not most of the creative people, but we can go classic and take inspo from the Odisey and say this guy lived in a barely decorated cave or something. The walls decorated with random sketches with charcoal (for extra dramatic-ness, cus why would they use a pen like a normal person when they're not /j) that give off a weird, yet slightly creepy vibe.
They looked like pictures of random moments in time that the group didn't understand. Possibly random snippets that came to them while using the power that they suddenly aquired (blame GoD)
Now. I'm a huge enjoyer of Identity reveal fics, and unfortunately I'm still on the cp 358 of the novel so I don't know it all but I was spoiled quite bit, and thus I know that Choi Han knows about Kim Rok Soo but I'm not sure about anyone else (other than Alberu, but idk just how much he knows)
SO. Basically, stay with me on this, when they meet the so-called-Prophet, they start asking few questions to confirm that their power is 💯 a real thing and not some fake news. And as it turns out, it is a real thing! Surprising as it is, and as it turns out, they can also see the glimpses of someone's past.
Cake just didn't expect that they could see into his past life and lay it bare for everyone to see. His recruitment by the Team Leader, the Apocalypse happening, Rok Soo's death and revival to this world and so so!
I just might write a fic, who knows? Happy New Years!!
can we get an animatic for ogCale Henituse and Kim Rok Soo with 'No Longer You' from EPIC the musical pls
Like. really fitting for both of them, and a few others, but I have no idea how to make those.
Snippet:
"I see you on the brink of death. I see you draw your final breath."
"I see a man who gets to make it home alive, but it's no longer you."
#tcf#lcf#cale henituse#kim rok soo#epic the musical#I'm absolutely obsessed with both#I wouldn't be me if I don't connect my silly interests#I don't know how to animate but I can draw and write#And write I will
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Ghost Chirps AU Part 5
Part 1 & 2
Part 3
Part 4
***
While “Jason” (i.e. Alfred with an empty jet that Jason will meet up with later in order to “arrive” in Amity) hops a private jet, Red Hood is busy searching the Fenton home from top to bottom.
The local police move slowly, and by the time they arrive Jack and Maddie Fenton are both tied up and disarmed in their living room under heavy guard.
They hadn’t been restrained immediately, Batman talking him into giving them a chance to implicate themselves first.
Hood let him take the lead, but he didn’t even get a chance to ask a question, being cut off at the first indication he might want to talk about their “work.��� Less than 60 seconds in, and the pair had outright confessed to violating the meta protection acts - and in tedious detail.
The questioning didn’t suffer any from them being tied up.
Far from the mulish silence or crocodile-tear laden denial of most criminals, they instead doubled down, insisting that nothing they had done was illegal, then jumping to the assumption that they were “possessed” - and boy had it been a nasty surprise when the whole house came alive trying to attack them with a quick verbal command.
Well, trying to attack Hood. And only him, for some reason.
One laser also freed the Fentons, who turned out to have even more weapons built into their suits.
Somehow.
Despite them being skintight.
That had been a pain, but Red Robin was able to hack the system using one of the couples’ own devices while Hood dodged - and kept the stray fire away from the others - leaving everyone else to recapture the pair. A blessedly simple task once they found out the lasers would splash harmlessly off of their armor (save for a gross film of green goop left wherever they grazed).
They take turns knocking each unconscious to change them in order to properly disarm them - Batman and Nightwing taking Jack first, followed by Orphan and Spoiler dealing with Maddie.
The only non-weapon laden clothing they own turns out to be pajamas.
This is around when the police show up, looking hesitant.
They, too, cite the “Anti-Ecto Acts.”
Oracle had debriefed them on the supposed Acts and “Ghost Investigation Ward” on their short drive over. Both were utterly bogus - the Acts had never even been proposed, let alone been approved as law, and the so-called “GIW” had no ties to the government.
The Fentons had been furious and denied the information intensely when told, but the cops mostly just looked relieved.
Apparently there’d been a lot of property damage by the GIW and Fentons both that had supposedly been dismissed under the Acts as “necessary in the pursuit of ecto-scum.”
For the Fentons, half of this damage was in the form of broken fire hydrants, cracked sidewalks, and totaled cars - they’d never been good drivers, before, the cops disclosed, but they’d become even more negligent since the ghosts began appearing, to the point they had to have a news segment warning when they would be on the road.
The lack of fatalities thus far had been nothing short of a miracle, they claimed.
“Of course there haven’t been any fatalities!” Mrs Fenton defends. “Our work is to protect people from those things, not make more! Officers, listen to reason-” Hood snorts disdainfully -”The Red Hood is clearly a ghost! All our systems targeted him the moment they came online - and they only target ecto-entities. He’s clearly taken these heroes under his sway - why else would they be working with a murderer!? You have to do something before he starts up his killing here in Amity!”
The officers look at him a bit hesitantly, but Batman is unmoved and gives the cover story Hood had outlined back in the alley.
Any concerns the locals have are quickly assuaged.
But for the whole explanation, Jason is trying not to shake even as he falls apart in place.
Their little website called them ghost-hunters, making it pretty clear what “ecto-entities” meant.
Their system supposedly only targets ecto-entities.
The system had only targeted him.
The system only targets ghosts.
Jason had died.
A lot of his family members had died, too, granted.
But Jason was the only one who seemed to come back wrong - anger sticking in his throat and never quite fading, an inclination towards violence even when he wasn’t angry well beyond what he’d ever felt before, and a sea of other emotions (that he would never acknowledge aloud) and triggers for those emotions that he always struggled to make heads or tails of.
He doesn’t have the meta gene. He knows that. He knew that.
He just assumed that the test missed it, because he knows he doesn’t know magic - the All Blades being the only exception - and he couldn’t think of another explanation at the time.
But he came back wrong.
And as he stands there, he wonders if he came back at all, mind on Solomon Grundy.
Wonders if he isn’t just some ghost, wandering around possessing his own corpse.
He jolts, as the thought strikes him: what about Danny?
If he’s a ghost and chirping is a ghost thing then what about his KID!?
Absently, he notes that Bruce has started interrogating the cops on what they meant by “ghost attacks.”
He ignores the discussion, hustling for the door in the kitchen down to the lab.
He slams and locks the door behind him - in Red Robin’s face - as he descends, making a b-line for the computer he’d seen when the Fentons had dragged them all down there to start bragging about their crimes.
The only thing Oracle could get out of the whole building was things that were openly available online; direct connections were impossible.
Opening up the screen, he gets to cracking.
Going for the surface level files first, it turns out he doesn’t even need so much as a password to find what he wants.
One of the video game sub-files has an unrelated file in it: ghost notes.
There are plenty of other notes, of course, but he’d only been skimming to start, looking for anything hidden.
The Fenton parents were too open to bother, of course, with plenty of more obvious files strewn haphazardly across the home screen, but it’s always better to check. That there is a hidden file means it was likely made by either Danny or Jazz.
And it’s a treasure trove.
Sub-files for rogues, allies, conditional allies, and “halfas” were what greeted him.
The last being the only term he didn’t recognize, he clicked.
6 files: Clones, Danny, Dani, Dan, Vlad, and Red Hood.
He clicks his own file.
What greets him is a picture of himself 4 days ago, looking just to the left of the lens in an alley that he distinctly remembers searching for the kid in.
Just below is text.
~~~
??? Name: Red Hood
Species: probably a halfa
Status: Nnnneutral? I think? I know, I know, heads in bags. But Valerie tries to kill me all the time! And we’re allies sometimes! Hood- uh- looked for me? Okay I guess I can’t really judge this yet but please read the first met section before you judge please you guys?
First met: Aug 17, 2005, was in Gotham to bother Batman, stopped to think a bit on some fire escape - decide on the first prank yknow - but then my ghost sense went off. It felt like a halfa so I thought “oh cool, must be Dani” so I chirped, but then Red Hood - who was chasing some guy down an alley at the time - froze and looked around. I dropped visibility and chirped again and yeah, he definitely heard it. Humans can’t so he’s definitely a halfa - no glow so he can’t be a full ghost and it felt nothing like an overshadowing.
Ended up following Hood around the rest of week - forgot to prank Batman, damn - and playing hide-and-seek with the chirps. It was really funny. But he very obviously doesn’t know he’s a halfa. But the guy is, like, scary levels of smart, so I’m sure he’ll figure it out on his own now that the chirp thing made it clear that something is up. Hopefully.
I figure I can go back in winter break - he should have it figured out and let his emotions process enough by then to at least hear me out when I explain the AEA and GIW and everything, then it won’t matter so much if he can, like, track me by voice or something if I talk since we’ll have MAD by then.
Despite his reputation, the people living in his haunt seem to love the guy. I can see why. On top of the whole smart he’s actually really nice to people he’s not shooting in the knees (which only even happened one time in the week I was there? It was actually pretty relaxing - most quiet week I’ve had since the portal opened THANK YOU TUCKER for hacking the portal hatch to be inoperable for a week).
Where was I? Oh yeah, he’s actually surprisingly nice to people? So like, I think he’ll probably hear me out if I go back and be polite? I hope. Hate to leave the guy in the dark and him end up on the GIWs dissection table for “lots and lots of painful experiments.”
Not that those guys could even catch the Box Ghost. But uh, Hood doesn’t seem to have powers either? Or if he does he doesn’t know about them I don’t think - he only used the chirp the whole time I was their - not even to cheat with moving around.
Seriously. That guy's acrobatics could make Freakshow’s contortionist green - er, red??? - with envy. Actually wait, aren’t contortionists and acrobats different things?
SAM NOTE: help^?
Powers:
?
~~~
Jason leans back, breathing deeply.
“Not a full ghost,” “not 'overshadowed'” - a term that sounds likke some kind of cousin to possesision - “definitely a halfa,” “humans can’t hear chirps.”
Halfa.
Half.
Ghost.
Half Ghost.
It should sound absurd - you can’t be half alive and half dead.
But Jason has seen the Lazarus pits, has met Solomon Grundy, has met aliens and bullshit magic and can pull magical swords out of his own damn chest.
Half alive. Half dead.
Hopefully not just a fancy way to say possessing his own corpse.
He doesn’t have time to deal with every file - he’ll “confiscate” one of their USBs with a copy of everything for himself before leaving the rest to Batman & co, of course, minus the halfa files (a small part of him wants to shove his condition in Bruce’s face and demand he kill the clown again even though he knows it’s a futile hope, but the rest - the same part that snapped and denied and refused to say he was a meta less that a day ago now - cannot stomach the thought of even more rejection. Of a Bruce that believes he’s a monster. Of a Bruce that mourns him even while he’s right there. Or at least, more than he already does.) - but while the files copy he take the time to look at Danny’s.
The image has two people, Danny Fenton on one side and a version of the kid in a black hazmat suit with white hair, tanned skin, and painfully familiar green eyes. And floating.
~~~
Human Name: Danny Fenton
Ghost Name: Danny Phantom
Species: Halfa (half-human, half ghost)
~~~
It’s the section after that that makes Jason’s breath catch in his throat.
~~~
Death: The Portal Accident
So like, there was no audio (thank GOD I do not want to hear myself screaming) so. Details: When the portal didn’t work when they plugged it in mom and dad left for fudge, Jazz went to try and talk them into a more realistic career choice than ghosts. Sam and Tucker came over and Sam dared me to climb in and check it out - it was broken anyway so no harm. Except it wasn’t broken, just that my parents put the on button inside. Which I caught myself on when I tripped on a wire.
Anyway, electrocution!
(T - Danny for the love of god be more serious, the cheerful tone is creepy)
(D - Hey! I’m the one who died! Shouldn’t I at least get to write my own epitaph)
(S - …Danny this is not an epitaph. You don’t even HAVE a grave)
(D - wow way to rub it in Sam)
(T - yeah Sam)
(S - ugh! Whatever, just stop with the chatting in official files)
(T - “official”)
(S - Tucker.)
(T - shutting up now)
Electrocution! I got zapped to death, but the ectoplasm from the portal was also opening up on top of me and a lot got bonded to me I guess (S - probably because of the electricity with how you ended up with some of Vortex' powers for a little while) at the same time said electricity was reviving me? - probably getting my heart beating again or something, I was a little busy screaming to pay attention (T - yeah okay we're going to Nasty Burger after this. And playing Doomed) - not that it would’ve mattered without the ghostification preventing me from melting me all the way to death.
Status: Me!
Powers:
Chirps! (ghost echolocation of some kind! humans can't hear em - halfas can, of course, in either form)
Form Change (really Sam? This barely counts)
Human form
Ghost form (no need to breathe)
Flight (last clock speed 210mph) (T - and climbing. Dang dude)
Invisibility (S - don’t forget shareable.) (Shareable. sigh)
Intangibility (Shareable)
Ecto Rays (eyes & hands) (T - and butt) (D - dude! I’m deleting that. Tucker why can't I delete it. TUCKER) (T - bow down in awe of my ksill) (S - ksill) (D - ksill) (T - yeah okay it’s permanent now) (D - aw man!)
Ghost Sense (S - why do we never test your range?) (D - no need? They always make themselves obvious or are being sneaky specifically to annoy me so *shrug*) (S - I still think we should test it)
Power Absorption (that time with Vortex’s weather powers)
Cryokinesis (Wayyyyy to much ice. NOT testing max output on that) (T - yeah frozen city was enough, let’s not cause an ice age. Tech needs some cool but too much is still bad and I just upgraded Patricia)
Ghostly Wail (cone of destruction, very exhausting - always at max output. Not to be used)
GHOST FORM ONLY (but really just never)
Cartoon Body (D - what???) (S - Freakshow literally turned you into a puddle and you just turned back and were fine. I don’t know what else to call that) (D - okay fair. but:)
GHOST FORM ONLY
Physical Enhancement (better strength, speed, stamina, durability, reflexes, balance, etc much better than human) (T - why does this look like dnd knockoff stats haha)
GHOST FORM ONLY (S - obviously mr last place in PE)
Resistances (pretty solid on the overshadowing, avoided being taken in by Ember until targeted, didn’t get turned to stone during the Medusa thing) (S - which was pure luck! Be careful!)
Ecto Electricity (ghost stinger, but I really don’t think this counts Sam. I mean I just. Make my ecto zappy. But it’s still just ecto) (S - so is your ICE and you don’t just call that "just cold ecto") (D - fine, but it feels overly specific) (S - maybe writing it all down will make you stop. Forgetting. POWERS!) (D - come on Sam that was a lucky hit! I was distracted! And it turned out fine!) (S - Fenton…) (D - oop okay doing fire now)
Ecto Fire (made Dash’s shoes melty that one time by make the ecto hot) (T - really needs more testing)
Tech possession (chasing Technus into computers, not very tested)
Ghost form only, i guess?
Overshadowing (control people, copy their voice, invade dreams - the control one erases the person’s memory so they don’t know they were overshadowed just lost time. I hate Walker. SO much) (T - rip Danny’s reputation, you’ll be missed)
Probably ghost form only
Duplication (T - That’s optimistic) (D - I’M WORKING ON IT OKAY!?) (S - pretty sure it just falls under cartoon body until you can actually separate) (D - :( betrayal)
Probably ghost form only
More? (D - ugh I hope not) (T - hey don’t say that, maybe you’ll get a power to make the JL give a crap about Amity) (D - honestly I’m getting pretty close to letting Boxy loose in Gotham) (S - Danny, don’t stoop to their level!) (D - it's only box ghost!) (T - I mean he has a point)
~~~
Jason changes his mind, seeing the commentary, and deletes the entire hidden file from the computer as soon as his copy is made. He can go over everything and bring any important info to Bruce separately, the bat’s can just chew on the parents’ files for now.
Once the original files are thoroughly and irretrievably removed he pockets his shiny new USB, makes a second one with all the official files, and heads back up and out - carelessly brushing past a thoroughly irate Red Robin with a pair of firemen and broken jaws of life. And not a scratch on the door; impressive - just in time to get Oracle’s text that he’s got 2 hours and 16 minutes to be at the location on his HUD so he can “arrive” to Amity.
And a fresh set of civilian clothes will be waiting in the plane, Alfred as reliable as ever.
“Files,” he says, tossing the safe USB to Batman and interrupting his interrogation of the police officer.
He catches it effortlessly of course, but the officer stops paying attention to him to jolt at Hood’s reappearance - even outside of Gotham his reputation is fierce.
“I sent a copy to myself. I’ll review them and give you an overview, but other than that consider this the end of my involvement in this little shitshow,” he says, continuing smoothly to the door. “I’m heading back to Gotham.”
Now, he has a little over two hours before Jason Todd needs to arrive in Amity Park. He only needs to lay hands on a laptop that he can isolate from Babs’ influence and he should be able to review the Halfa files in full before he "lands" - after he figures out just why the kid has a grudge against the JL.
#The defenses only attacked jason because the others are liminal#But not quite liminal enough for the Fenton House to pick up on#He’s the only one who died and had it really *stick* thus why he’s the only halfa#Sure the others died but they were all revived fully#Death left a stain#Not a chain#Jason has one foot in the grave#The others bat’s just have some graveyard dirt smudged on their pants cuffs#I can keep going with the metaphors#lol#Anyway#Their contamination is. Like. not worse than the average person living on the opposite side of the city as the Fentons#(which is a lot compared to everyone else in the whole world#but not much in terms of “will the house shoot me”#Fenton ghost detecting devices aren’t that precise yet)#The “files” aren’t super professional because like. They’re 14.#It’s organized sure but it’s not gonna be scientific paper levels (& they’d feel uncomfy making it too scientific sounding)#There’s powers missing on purpose (not thinking of thing as a power. All 3 forgot about it. Etc)#So why did the JL ignore Amity you ask?#Info blackout#One does not simply ignore the Meta Protection Acts and pretend to be a gov’t agency without taking precautions#Everything out of Amity Park is sanitized as hell. (ha#and doesn’t that just fit the GIW clean-obsession)#“But Mutable!” I hear you cry “What about Undergrowth & Vortex!”#I don’t remember Undergrowth’s radius of effect but I’m saying my AU he was Amity-only and the GIW set up a blockade to intimidate witnesse#Same deal with Pariah town-knapping the place (GIW base was JUST out of the town-knapping radius. Lucky them)#As for Vortex#the storms themselves made it impossible to track anything through normal means#(ie no cams caught Sam & Tucker’s jet taunting Vortex except some people with cells on the street. But wind killed all the audio)#So as far as the world is concerned there was a freak storm and it went away
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i hate being a mentally ill adult actually. i hate that there’s always groceries to be bought and housekeeping to do and work in the morning i hate that we have no space to feel it all i hate that we walk around acting normal. there are so many people i know who are clearly deeply unhappy with their lives and we make silly little jokes that allude to it but sometimes i want to grab them by the shoulders and scream ‘i know you are miserable!! we can’t keep living like this!! this is why people break!!’ im sick of this drudgerous apathy i want us all to be dramatic like when we were teenagers i want us to sob together and scream bloody murder at each other and tell each other we want to kill ourselves not as a funny post-ironic joke but because we all feel like that sometimes!! i want us to get fucked up on god knows what til we can’t open our eyes i want us to take care of each other instead of always taking care of ourselves i want us to be vulnerable i want us to hold each others hands in the ambulance!!
#don't get me wrong there are happy and beautiful times! there is wonder and fulfillment!!#but how do u share in the one if u can't share in the other?#i can't walk into work and say#'yesterday all i could think about was which of you would cry if i died#but today i saw a kid pick a flower and it felt like the most beautiful thing that had ever happened'#i don't even talk to my friends like that! it's all 'haha yeah been having a rough week. u know how it is. hbu?'#i feel like im going crazy but i dont believe that! aren't we all feeling this??? is anyone else feeling this??? is this fucking normal????#am i just emotionally closed off?? is everyone else having these conversations am i the stunted one who doesn't know how to talk about it??#i KNOW im living with mental illness but so are a lot of people! im sad sometimes but im not losing my mind! i know other people feel this!!
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I think the most baffling thing about the Tulpar as a vessel to me is the fact that the ship really did only have a one way communication system.
I know it was cheap but even the most basic of vessels regarding major transport would have some way, shape or form for outside communication. Not only that but there was absolutely no form of innate emergency signal to show they may have been offline or in trouble despite clearly having a system to dock credits if they went off course. It's another factor that really shows that bad situations are made to get worse by design. One person who is required to relay all information to the crew and make all the choices without feedback. No way to update or call for help in case of a dire situation. No way to inform of inner personal conflicts and acquire procedures accordingly.
It really is like they are all in some sort of fucked up solitary confinement. They have their own world with strict roles that are meaningless in the end, as long as the cargo makes it, it doesn't matter what happens on that ship to the company. They don't want to hear anything and will come to conclusions on what happened based on how much pay they can withhold from the workers. Even what they do send is short, sterile and corporate to the extent it was likely written and sent out with a command by some random unmanned computer in an office.
There's something to be said about how unfair it is to force absolute power and control onto one person when you as an entity could do so much more to offload it but I've said it many times before so I won't again.
#its just like idk i dont think Curly was a bad captain because we only have this scenerio and I certainly dont think a man like Swansea#would like him or have very little issues with him specifically if he was incompentent or too lienent in the past but I do think the stress#was making him worse and worse as being a present leader as it dawned on him how much he actually had to handle like I really think he#just wanted to do yknow normal captain pilot stuff and fly the ship and yknow the little stuff like make sure things run right and over tim#the constant stress and strain of having to make every major choice started to grate on him and freak him out cause they cant even fucking#eat unless he pulls out the scanner and starts cooking like he has to choose the meal likely or have a vote and i make that part of the#reason he seems so indecisive and inactive is the fact he has to make the choice all the time and he's hoping he can at least make the crew#feel a little more in control of themselves as people by staying out of affairs like the game or disputes because god he literally has to#choose for them all the time like thats a lot of responsibility monitering their sleep their breaks food consumption thats all on him like#it really should be another persons job entirely as thats almost like absoulte contrl over the lives of everyone else that PE forces onto#that title and its also crazy how everyone accepts it even if they dont like it like they broke the food machine open rather than get the#scanner they all waited two months before Jimmy appointed himself leader its so scary how conditioned they all are to the environemnt#cause that sort of mindset is sadly real where people just wait everyone just waited until it was getting real dire and then they still#followed Jimmy without too many complaints like i saw a fic or post where Anya acknowledges they all kinda just let Jimmy do what they want#because he became the captain and it was stupid on all their parts cause they could clearly see how bad he was and yet he was captain so#they just fell in line to their roles and thats a bigger point towards how PE treated them and the complacency capitalism brings to you#just like something that irks me because idk I know Curly is slow to act but he's not as like unopinionated as people make him out to be#like he does try to find solutions but they are still restricted at the end of the day by what PE provides them and I think his biggest c#crime is being in his own head too much and not giving Anya that emotional stability cause like idk man was he supposed to go to Home Depot#himself and install like padlocks? even if the let Anya sleep in medical after she pointed it out she was already pregnant at that point#like we arent seeing the inherent issue that no one not even Anya herself was thinking of the preventative measures because a)there was a#point nothing was happening that necessitated them b) it would've been the responsibility of PE to address them pre and post incident and c#there is only one person on the entire ship given the authority to do anything. You can not make multiple important choices in one instance#in such little time and Curly should not have had that total power like i think the most interesting thing in takes that really blame Curly#is that level of control they give him over the company. Like again i think about the three days we miss between the eval/party and the#convo/crash like i think people switch them around as if those scenes happen in succession when they are broken up and its heavily implied#Curly and Jimmy just havent been talking vs the depiction that she told him and for like three days Curly was just chummy despite the fact#Jimmy and him just had a blow out fight like the next time we assume they talk is during the crash sequence cause he honestly hangs#around Anya more which i think is really important because she trust Curly to defend her himself but not his judgement to give her somethin#to defend herself as she knows he believes her but also knows she's not seeing the danger the same and its heartbreaking and more
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#I’m only very rarely inclined to get this intimate w my thoughts so I might as well say it NOW butttt I will never not see the dead children#In everything I do#Like legit#I’ve read up on Hind so extensively and seen so many photos of her#And I have a very healthy relationship w the popular Palestinian journalists so she’s not my blorbo or anything#But hearing that memo destroyed me bc bisan is only 23 and she seemed so vivacious#Idk like I do normal people things I can’t just pause on my life#But idk how it feels like to sit at a boba place and enjoy my pearl milk tea w my friends#While the horrors over there don’t just lurk the back of my mind. I do normal things and I’m guilty for having the luxury#And as an Iraqi girl I’m living in the literal ideal timeline#Where my mom decided to immigrate to the us and that’s why I’m here living a normal life like everyone else#It’s like in a different world if I were born in a different time it could’ve so easily been me. I’m one of the Lucky Ones idk#It’s not survivor’s guilt bc it’s not like I had to survive anything like I never had the chance to live in Iraq or anything#But like. If some things had fallen just a little differently#And I keep thinking about how I’d feel if it were happening to Iraq and people behaved the way they’re doing to Palestinians#I’d be so mad#And some people on here are dealing w assholes while bursting at the seams w grief#For losing their loved ones#This is why I’m so fucking angry at anyone who’s complicit#This was a major tangent but basically I feel weird about doing normal things now while simultaneously knowing I can’t just sit and wallow#And watch life pass by as if it’ll do anything#Misery is not a home but I’m struggling to be 100% normal#And I think that this tonal dissonance is reflecting on my blog too bc I can’t go back to just#Posting about all the other normal things I used to. Like I want to but sometimes I feel off.#Is this anything. I haven’t slept all night#I can’t just allow myself to lose interest in everything I used to like and be and just fade away but maybe it’s about accepting that this#Will also always be a part of me now. It’s that awareness that shadows everything I do#or maybe I need a therapist it’s a toss up#I’ll probably feel better once I get my day started but this was cathartic to voice I think#p
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I wish I could survive without living with family rn. I love my family and they love me but that only really matters as long as im doing what they want with no complaint. im less than human here and I don’t have the ability to change that without upsetting or alienating my only current means of existence
#one day!#it’s been the loneliest year of my life tho#things are maybe looking up#but sometimes it just hits that im 28 and not able to function like a normal person and my life is kind of. ruined#not all of it! not most of it#but I had things I wanted for myself#I wanted to be a teacher#or a biologist#and it’s not plausible to dream like that anymore#I never ever wanted the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune#I didn’t want to be different from everyone else#i just wanted to live a normal life not in agony with a few friends who I could trust#and now I have to beg my mom down from triggering my psychosis on purpose as a joke#and for all my fucking bloviating and vocabulary#I can’t explain what’s wrong with me
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logically or cognitively or w/e i know i'm not insane but then why do i get the sense that i am
#and that i just can't step on the path meant for me like it's there but instead i'm traipsing around or my foot's stuck in a hole or a#bear trap or something#and everyone else moves along#and i don't get to move and i never grow and i'll never be a whole person#so ig insane in the sense that i'm incapable of caring about what normal people care about (their lives and its conditions and so on)#and mayhaps. no one gets this...... they think i secretly deep down must care or i'll start caring when the circumstances demand it#but i don't care.#and I don't feel anything over real things#i feel like this makes me a faulty cog that doesn't fit in the mechanism
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i lost the post but i saw someone talking about how some of y’all act like being weird is a choice and like. YEAHHHHHHH.
that’s fine, it might be for you. but i just live like this and don’t know any other way. like yeah i’ve worked customer service, i can do innocuous small talk, but anything beyond that, i don’t understand what i’m missing. and it’s frustrating to see the tonal disconnect especially from people who are like “uwu embrace weirdness!!” where they’re like. dressing quirky and talking about bugs and listening to obscure music and eschewing small talk to ask Deep Questions on the first date and unlearning their tendency to not infodump. and generally have an idea of what Weirdness is supposed to look like. idk man some of us wake up and get out of bed and can’t figure out why the rest of their coworkers chitchat with each other but when they join the conversation it dies.
weirdness is value neutral. let’s stop trying to turn it into a badge because quite frankly, it’s not a choice for everyone. it’s fucking exhausting to never be on the same wavelength as other people and they’re going to react the way they do and label you the way they will without any conscious actions on your end. it’s difficult to talk about this without feeling like you’ll be dismissed as immature, a teenager whining “no one understands me” but the thing is. sometimes you don’t grow out of feeling alone and different, and there’s no good way to talk about it without feeling like people will think you’re just fishing for pity.
#most of it is stuff i can’t help like!!!#coworkers and i don’t share a lot of interests so i’m always like. yes i’ve heard of that show but haven’t seen it. no idk that band sorry#and they’ll like. talk shit abt other people who share my interests without realizing that i also like those things#so i just have to sit there and take it#i feel like i don’t have a lot in common with my friends even. a few shared interests but very different lives#in my experience the conscious choice has been to try to keep up with what’s popular but it’s just. not interesting to me#i got bored and forgot to finish s2 of stranger things and never picked it back up#even alt subcultures have gone kinda mainstream and i never quite slot in#let’s not even touch the gay culture ‘flags’ that are extremely online and unrelatablr#and the most frustrating thing. every time i try to talk about myself and my interests i feel people shutting down#one person i know. open mouth sighs in exasperation when i open my mouth#i don’t know why you’re making it my problem that we’re different#i know there is supposed to be a niche out there for everyone but some of that feels like#those niches are falling prey to marketability. if you’re too far out of the mainstream. too out of touch. it can’t be helped#a lot of messaging online is like. embrace weirdness but only if it’s subversive in a very specific way#too normal to hang out with self-proclaimed proud weirdos. too weird to hang out with normies#like i thought the thing was to disavow performativity. i’m sorry i don’t find the same things interesting#i don’t care about the office and you don’t care about the hundred years’ war. that’s fine. why is that seen as a personal fault of mine#i feel like some of the reaction i get might be bc it comes across as hipster shit. idk#i’m literally just oblivious and looking for any kind of indicator for social interaction#but so often it feels like the onus of finding common ground is on me. i have to listen abt things idk but no one cares what i have to say#i think what makes it more frustrating is this reaction from people who claim to not care. do their own thing#and then get annoyed when i do mine and it’s. different#instead of being like ‘fuck the mainstream! conformity is bullshit! be yourself!’ it’s like#‘fuck the mainstream because it doesn’t appeal to me personally and i’ve made my own club!’#and this is not going to come out right because i’m just at my limit and venting and don’t know how to say things the right way#so people don’t misunderstand me#i just happen to never like the Right Things and know the Right Things and act the Right Way and idk how else to say it other than#can we be more normal about weird people#idk it’s hard to talk abt this without sounding like i’m just complaining but i’m more bewildered and trying to state things as i see them
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#vent post#ok to rb without screenshotting the tags but idk why you'd do that anyways#I'm once again wishing every fellow adult living with their parents a very 'I'm sorry o7'#mom's getting on my case about 'not wanting to be part of the family'#but if dinners are always silent and uncomfortable with all of us not talking then I think it's normal for me to leave the table#when I'm done eating. it's not 'not wanting to be part of the family' it's just not wanting to be somewhere awkward as hell lmfao#like oh okay sorry let me sit here for another fifteen minutes silently bc y'all ignore every conversation I try to start. jesus christ.#goddddddddddddddddddd fuck the housing market lmao#I love my family but I'd like them a hell of a lot more if I didn't live here#a little distance does wonders#anywaysssss sending love to everyone else who is perpetually stuck at home. esp oldest siblings and ill folk 🤝#we'll get out eventually#no more silent dinners and people who find your optimism and attempts to lighten the mood to be juvenile#stay miserable and pragmatic and 'realist'. no joy or whimsy. fucking whatever. I'm not sinking down to cynicism.#what's the opposite of being the moody black sheep of the family lmao. I'm the only one who seems to enjoy being unserious#ok. vent over but fr anyone else stuck at home when they don't want to be: i love you and we'll figure it out in time. things WILL work out#delete later???
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Do you have any opinions on what kind of music mav and ice like? I’m just curious as someone who has motorcycle riding 80s navy dad whose favorite two artists were Madonna and Bruce Springsteen if you think the answer would surprise us? Or if they’d be as predictable as always
Yeah nothing crazy. kinda predictable i guess. classic rock, country rock, classic blues, nostalgic 60s folk, contemporary stuff when it comes on the radio and isn’t unlistenable by their middle-aged-white-man standards.
+ of course ice’s somewhat gay Fleetwood Mac entanglement
#Look i was born in 2003 idk anything about 90s music tbh. 80s yes but not 90s#it’s one of those things I don’t feel qualified to discuss#most of my opinions on questions like this are inspired by what my white dad b. ca. 1970 enjoyed in high school#so that’s where you get ‘beast of burden’ by The Rolling Stones in my fic. that’s a ‘my dad likes this song’ song.#so what else did my white dad like that i feel is in line with ice and mav#?#uhhh. okay. Donna summer. counting crows. the foo fighters. Joni Mitchell. Peter Paul and Mary. bill withers. Burt Bacharach. Whitney.#Coldplay! they listen to the radio so i think they’re into some 21st ce artists as well. like to a Normal degree.#they don’t follow celebs but like the music. they like old t swift but like to a normal white dad degree.#my white dad is really into dua lipa for some reason. ice & mav don’t give me that vibe#pete maverick mitchell#tom iceman kazansky#icemav#asks#it’s one of those things that’s like ‘you should really have ur own hcs about this bc everyone’s are going to be too specific’#like ice & mav’s sex lives & what they prefer in bed. I certainly have my hcs but they’re so specific it’s not worth#discussing because they won’t be universal so who cares. they’ll just live inside my head#the act of sharing hcs is very vulnerable & not always worth it tbh#better to shove them into a narrative somewhere#ty for the ask anon 🥺❤️❤️
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( alt translation: lawl.ess! everything you've taught me turned to be spot on. just like advice from a big bro should be! if you care about your eves, you should protect 'em. let's get a li'l rough! )
i know i've posted these panels before but honestly rereading this entire arc has me absolutely rebawling over and over again. out of all the siblings in sv, il.dio and lawl.ess's dynamic will always be my fave. simply because lawl.ess took il.dio in from his rebirth into being a vampire and tried to teach him the right, stood up for him when the count was going to send him back to being someones pawn ( especially bc he was going to be goaded into a serv.amp / eve contract with him without ild.ios full understanding ), if only to lead them both in an understood shared grief they were unable to face or name. lawl.ess saw his words drive il.dio insane, but it's this moment that il.dio confirms that was never the case - it was his own inability to understand or put word to his grief that ended up in his own warped sense of freedom; a fact they both understand better than anyone around.
#❛ ♡ › jupiter : 𝐨𝐨𝐜.#il.dio im so normal about you rn (i really am NOT)#i love his character so so so MUCH his inability and lack of understanding of his emotions#the way hes kept them to himself all these years. living just like a character in a game#eat - sleep - repeat#at the end of the day ... im glad his first eve wasnt that bloke and good on lawle.ss for sticking up and out for him#il.dios dynamic between him and lawl.ess vs him and a.sh are soooo interesting - it's the ideal vision of a brother as opposed to an actual#brother - which i wont go into detail rn bc theres a meta about this in the back of my head rn ( which goes into the ideals of the sv's and#just who sleepy ash was to them and i think it's going to be neat )#but at the end of the day. lawl.ess WILL always be his number one. thats his fave brother.#he wouldnt want to go crazy with anyone else. they will continue to inspire each other#reading this translation is honestly so funny everyone like. they go deep into the sv's being british so ive sat here listening to so many#british idioms uttered by lawl.ess rn. dude said jej.e had an ugly mug .... that he cant wait to beat the living crap out of him for#shooting his eve which. honestly. me too buddy but is a bit of an unexpected shock ...#ildi.os now here though. as brothers you can do it tg lawle.ss ... hes jej.es enemy ( was confirmed before this arc )#he has been waiting to be proved right!
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